A compilation of my alter egos and costumes over the past 4 years since my first Burning Man (compiled for my unravelling e-course)
For all the navel gazing I do, you’d never know that filling out my self assessment form for my annual review at work sends me into a panic attack.
I used to take it seriously, I thought hard about it and poured my heart and soul (as it relates to work) onto a piece of paper. But it’s grown to mean nothing, it’s just stuck in a file somewhere, and my true thoughts – I don’t dare voice those even here, let alone on that form.
(Though, I took a risk and set one of my goals to be increasing awareness in the office about recycling, as I just dug through the trash can to pull out cans that were thrown away. One was in a can NEXT TO THE RECYCLING CONTAINER! UGH! Our office also stopped recycling waste paper – I’d like to encourage individual efforts in reduce/reuse waste paper, and get a petition to request the office recycles it again. Obviously I’m much more excited about this than anything else at work.)
So I figure, I don’t object to this task, I just can’t say what I want to say and no one is listening anyway. And even though it’s not New Years or any other time when people traditionally re-evaluate their life, I’d like to do a self assessment on everything BUT work.
Review of Previous Period’s Objectives/Goals
Since this is my first time doing this, I don’t have a previous list of goals. But a few ones that I have met over the past year:
– Take a hooping workshop and fire hoop for the first time
– Make a hoop video (I did this last night!)
– Create interactive art for Playa Del Fuego
– Help run an official Theme camp at Playa Del Fuego
– Cohabitate with my love 😀
– Perform fire in a group at Burning Man (wasn’t for conclave, but our dress rehearsal was a performance.)
Well, my accomplishments are listed above. Responsibilities? Hmm. What are my responsibilities outside of work?
– Take care of my kitties (check. though they need brushing and I can’t find the brush, they are happy and healthy!)
– Pay bills and stay on top of finances (eh still struggling but I’m mostly responsible here)
Seriously? Those are the only “MUST DO” responsibilities that I can think of, but if I get into “SHOULD DO” I can think of more. This is brainstorming, not necessarily all of these were accomplished, but they are all things I’m working on.
– Responsibilities to self: Eat in ways that sustain me and improve my health. Get some movement in, every day hopefully. Get enough sleep. Spend time doing things that nurture and sustain me, and improve/educate myself. Be aware of needs, desires, and boundaries. Learn to say no to things that will only cause stress, and yes to things that scare me but are good for me. Keep home a cleaner, nicer place to relax and rejuvenate. Make sure financial basic needs are met (pay bills on time, keep roof over head, improve credit rating).
– Responsibilities to family/friends: Love and care for kitties. Love Random, spend quality time together, work on mutual dreams and goals. Call and visit family. Often. Spend quality time with friends/family of choice, be there when they need support.
– Responsibilities to community/world: Participate in life, don’t just spectate. Contribute discussions, time, art, and effort to events that matter to me and to issues of importance in the world. Improve my “green” efforts. Bring joy and awareness to those around me. Help create things/movements as a group for larger reaching efforts.
I have great ideas. I can help others make their ideas happen. I have a harder time making my own ideas happen 😛
Love learning and experiencing new things. A sense of adventure.
Curious mind, always wanting to know how things work and how to do new things.
A sense of responsibility to community and the planet.
Willingness to look like a fool in public for the sake of fun.
Never underestimating the power of fun, camaraderie, good food, or good sleep.
Knowing and trusting my strengths.
Balancing what goals I can set and accomplish on my own to improve my life, and what ones I should set and work on together with my love.
Incorporating my passions into my job/career.
Pursuing bigger picture adventures without getting bogged down with the daily grind.
Balancing responsibilities and fun time.
Incorporating good ideas and lifestyle changes permanently.
Being gentle with myself for doing things poorly or not at all.
Watching where I spend/waste time.
Next Period’s Objectives/Goals and Target Dates
In the next month/s I shall:
– Make progress on cleaning/simplifying our home. (Make a game plan with my love, figure out what we can do together to do this.) Two weeks to a garage sale, so the incentive is there.
– Bring/create some joy into my work life, even if it’s tiny ways. Be more present and productive at work.
– Set some short and long term individual and mutual goals with my love, and figure out ways to keep part of our efforts focused on them.
– Enjoy every moment of summer while it’s here. It goes so fast. Be present in the moment.
– Continue to increase healthy habits and decrease unhealthy ones.
– Increase calls/visits to family. Decrease guilt about it never being enough 😛
In the next year I shall:
– Find a way to enjoy my job or find a new one.
– Relocate (if/when it suits both of us & our jobs).
– Have a routine to keep our home simplified, cleaner, and more green. Reduce the amount of things I own and use/enjoy the things I do own.
– Leave time/space for unplanned adventures and spontaneity.
– Explore my creativity in old and new ways.
– Contribute time and energy to the groups that matter to me – PDF, PEX, fire community, etc.
– Whether through the above or not, work on creations/artistic acts that make a public impact in some way.
– Never stop growing or improving, but always allowing me to be gentle to myself when needed.
– Focus on what matters most. Release things/people that don’t matter, that are more harmful than beneficial, whose time is just past.
Ack. OK. This was quite the onion peel. I had been thinking I couldn’t afford an acquaintance’s new ecourse, but after seeing this I think I should sign up (I only have today left to decide 😛 I also worry about the workload, as I finish an e-course that I fell behind on, and summer is a crazy time…)
I’m going to turn this around to you. Questions or ideas for me? Did this raise any thoughts of what you can do in your own life?
I have a million ideas but can never decide on ways to implement them. I find tons of amazing resources online like the happiness project (I even have a starter kit to start a group), creative every day challenge, joy rebellion, 29 day giving challenge…. Too many to choose from and commit to them all.
Do you want me to share more things like this with you? Would you be interested in a virtual or in person effort to pursue one of these things? If you are anything like me, you may say YES! and even pick one, but without serious commitement to it, our efforts will fall apart. And being spread too thin over many efforts does the same.
I’ll continue to share these things in case they strike a chord with you, but if you think that you and I should start a new community effort and you are willing to help, let’s talk. Maybe it will be a slow start, being summer and all. Maybe we can create something amazing. Maybe we’ll just have some amazing brainstorming and go on with our lives better for it.
I’m not feeling like LEADING this at this moment, but I look for those who want to CO-CREATE with me. To conspire with me. Or hell, just to console and have a cocktail on the rough days. I don’t know. If you are already in my life chances are you already do one of those things at least. I’m just planting a seed, and seeing what comes from it. I’m focusing on that which I want to nurture in my life, and I need some people around to support and remind me of that so I don’t get too far off track.
So – now that I wrote this huge ass post on my own time and just finished posting it during a brief break at work (*wink wink*) I should get back to my real task at hand. Which is of course, procrastinate and plan for the weekend trip!