Category: questions

Blast from the Past

Thank you spammers for this one – an LJ post of mine is routinely hit by spam, but today I re-read my original post. I never posted much on LJ, it was mostly just to connect with one community board on there (for BPAL). But Miss Ter’i put an “Interview Me” meme up where you volunteer to answer 5 questions she asks you. .  I believe this was about two weeks after the Playa Del Fuego where I met my wonderful husband… (See #2!)



1) Describe some times in your life when have you felt strongest and most at-peace with who you are.

wow tough first one!
my first inclination is to say when i travelled in england/europe… although, while i felt strong and independent, i was still very much searching for myself.  but my times in glastonbury and the isles of scilly were awesome and i felt at home and peaceful with myself, even if i was still unsure of who that was!
second thought is burning man and related events….  not at first, and probably not even in the desert…  but eventually, being able to feel like i can truly be myself and not worry about impressing people, and then having friends and people who supported/respected me, just felt like home.

2) Love rolls into your life. Is it riding a motorcycle, driving a fancy car, dancing on-foot up a mountain road, pedaling a bicycle, hot-air ballooning…or…? (you take it from here…in other words, what vehicle did it ride in on?)

LOL… LJ only (cuz not sure he is ready to hear this, quite yet…. maybe… although we seem to be on the same page…)

it strolled/danced in wearing a bowler hat and fairy wings with a band aid on them (hence no flying ;o), on a grass path across from the fireside lounge at PDF.

sorry it’s not creative, but it’s honest ;o)

3) Tell me about your new tattoo.

heehee. I’ve wanted one for a long time, and had some different ideas. The one I ended up with came to me actually after BM last year.  I saw the celtic forest installation, and there was a drumming circle there at night, it was a cool spot but nothing stuck out in my mind any further than that. I didn’t even take a photo. (I didn’t take many, and used disposables) When I got home and stumbled upon either photos or description of the art, I learned the figure was Belisama, a celtic (well gaulish) goddess of fire, the forge, crafts, and is associated with a river in england.  I’ve wanted something that relates to BM and to fire and really wanted it before this year, since I’ll be performing in conclave. And she just seemed perfect. It hits fire, water, crafts, and burning man.  It has spiritual/pagan connections, but to strangers on the street i can just say it’s a sculpture from BM, and they’ll think it’s an angel. so it’s not “in your face” but has a lot of meaning to me, that i can choose how much of that to share.
Never expected to get it on my shoulder, but the artist is awesome and had really good points (the view is looking up at her, so it would be stupid to have it lower on my back!)  i’m thrilled. or will be when it stops itching ;o)

4) Where did the name ‘Hunnybear’ come from?

*sigh* i broke the unofficial “rule” and gave it to myself… because since my first PDF, i’ve taken and shared (although i forgot to share it much this past one) a bottle of Barenjager – a honey liquor that’s really yummy. not something you want to drink a whole bottle of, but perfect and unusual for people to sample! people remembered me based on that, and I grew up a winnie-the-pooh fan, so there ya go.  (I will accept an “official” playa name when given one that fits and isn’t too embarassing LOL)

5) Why poi?

Saw fire spinning at BM, then my first PDF…  Poi was the most common fire tool that I saw, and they sold ones that glow, so that’s why. and i surprised myself by not (always) being a complete klutz with them!  i still dabble in hoop and want to learn staff…. but i do love the poi!

Reverb 10

Another blogging project which I may or may not abandon somewhere in the middle of the holiday crazies.  But I needed something to prompt me to actually post here, so I will!  Join me for Reverb 10, daily prompts for the month of December focused on reflecting on 2010 and manifesting for 2011!

December 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

It may be an obvious cop out, but I have to say Marriage.  So much of the year was focused on planning and enjoying our wedding festivities and honeymoon, which do not a marriage make, but the transition into a marriage is a significant one.  The year flew by and I know much of the focus was on preparing for that one day, but by the time we said our vows, we already felt married!

It was a transition that started over two years ago when we had our “playa wedding”, and both felt in our hearts that there was much more truth to that spiritual (but not legal) act.  This year was about bringing that part of us and our lives out in the open, legally and officially recognized by our friends, families, and community.  It was a blast! And yet, I am SOOOO glad it’s over! 😀  While I would love to relive the wedding day itself in slow-mo over and over again so I don’t miss a single moment, it was an intense year.  I have relished the return to the mundane and the comfort of being husband and wife, even on nights we are apart.

Yup – there have been some already and there will be more – Random is working a few hours away and spending several nights a week out there!  I cried about it for two days – of course it happened during PMS – but the marriage is a comfort that we are more permanent than any job, and we’ll get through anything together.  (And then I think of couples who are separated for months while serving in the military, and that just stops my complaining right then and there. For a few hours anyway.)

For 2011?  Oh there are so many I could see…. but I am focusing on making one word happen in 2011 – Adventure!  Grand Adventure! if I’d be allowed to have two words…  Some of you may know what I’m talking about, and I’m sure we’ll do a Big Announcement type thing, but I don’t feel right doing that here without discussing it first with Random.  Maybe on New Years Day or something 😛  I think our wedding blog will be transitioning to the Grand Adventure blog, but first we have thank you notes and holiday shopping and baking cookies and getting the tree up.  So y’all will just have to wait! 😀


Won’t you join me on Reverb10?

And because every post is better with photos, just like every bar is better with theme nights…

Corset night/Birthday celebration at the bar with some great gals!


The Middle

In a slight follow up to the previous post, I read “Exit the Middle” just now (and the sequel post).  And it sounds so familiar.  I like the beginnings.  I like the challenge.  I don’t mind not knowing what I’m doing, because it’s the beginning, no one does in the beginning.
The middle is where I get bored.  And often quit.

Unfinished art projects, past obsessions gathering dust, the artifacts are all around. I enjoy coming back to them at times, or entertaining the thought that I will.

I don’t regret not becoming advanced, because once I conquer the beginning, I know that I COULD become advanced, with time and patience.  Or – I could go learn something else shiny and new and enjoy the beginning again.

It’s the middle you want to watch out for. When you need other people to create challenges for you.

Is it good that I don’t fluster in the middle, asking for external solutions to being there?  Is it bad that I am obsessed with the new beginnings?

I like to think it means I adapt to change better (HA. I crave and resist it at the same time!)

Or have I already adopted her advice on getting out of the middle?

You just decide. You say it:

Here I am. I’m ready and willing to consciously engage with everything in my life. With the ecology of my life.

I’m open to finding challenges in the places where challenge is needed, and challenging myself to find ease when ease is needed.

That’s it. You’re out of the middle.

I’ve felt that strong desire for solutions to come from other people to get me out of ruts, to challenge me.  It’s been the ennui, the longing in my past for answers to come to my doorstep.  They didn’t come, and I ended up going out there and finding them for myself.  And that’s so much more fulfilling!

Musings for a Monday.  I suppose it’s sometimes a good thing that I’m like this, and sometimes not so good.  But whichever way, I think it beats the hell out of being stuck somewhere I don’t want to be and not doing anything about it.  (Which is right where I am with some aspects of life in particular…. ah. After the wedding though, after the wedding.)

(and now I have “Stuck in the middle with you” as an earworm in my brain…. )

This post may be troubling to my group of friends who lost an amazing person recently.  It discusses the circumstances of her death in relation to how society reacts to such events.  And, there’s a lot of anger and hurt for our loss in it as well.  As such, I let you choose whether to read the rest of it or not by clicking below for the rest of the entry.

But I want this part to be public.

No matter who you are, if you are in my life, you are very important to me.  Even if I don’t know you and you stumble on this blog, I still am asking you this.  I am going to ask each and every one of you for something big.  If it’s the only favor you ever do for me, I will be forever grateful.

If you ever, EVER, feel like the pain in your life is unbearable and you cannot go on, please PLEASE PLEASE make one phone call. (One phone call where you actually talk to someone. If you have to dial several people, DO IT.)

If you have my number (I have a google number on my Facebook, or email me and I’ll send you my number), call me.  OK, I am horrible at answering unknown numbers. Leave a message saying who you are and why you are calling (mention this promise if you want) and I promise to immediately respond! Any hour, any day, any time.

If you don’t have it, or don’t want to call me, call your closest friend or relative.  If you can’t or won’t, then call 1-800-Suicide (1-800-784-2433).

That is all I ask. Thanks.  (Click “more” below if you wish to read further.)

Continue reading

Unless you just got online yesterday, I’m sure you have seen an example of classic internet forum discussion turned argument, usually aided via “trolls” just trying to push buttons and cause reactions.  I’ve seen it often and participated (sometimes honorably, sometimes stooping to the levels of others in blame/accusations) rarely, but only once in a while is there one that really gets under my skin.

And I actually find it fascinating, even when my blood is boiling and my patience is tried.  Every time it turns into a circular discussion where it’s obvious neither side will budge or admit any wrong doing, and the tactics are often the same low blows whether the discussion is religion, discrimination, politics…

I’d like to share some facts and analysis of one of these that occurred yesterday/today (and may still be ongoing).  The subject matter is really irrelevant, as I want to discuss (rationally) some of the tactics used by both myself and the other participants.

It’s long – I can’t figure out what to cut out of it now so I’ll put it behind a link.

Continue reading

Self Assessment

A compilation of my alter egos and costumes over the past 4 years since my first Burning Man (compiled for my unravelling e-course)

For all the navel gazing I do, you’d never know that filling out my self assessment form for my annual review at work sends me into a panic attack.

I used to take it seriously, I thought hard about it and poured my heart and soul (as it relates to work) onto a piece of paper.  But it’s grown to mean nothing, it’s just stuck in a file somewhere, and my true thoughts – I don’t dare voice those even here, let alone on that form.

(Though, I took a risk and set one of my goals to be increasing awareness in the office about recycling, as I just dug through the trash can to pull out cans that were thrown away. One was in a can NEXT TO THE RECYCLING CONTAINER! UGH! Our office also stopped recycling waste paper – I’d like to encourage individual efforts in reduce/reuse waste paper, and get a petition to request the office recycles it again. Obviously I’m much more excited about this than anything else at work.)

So I figure, I don’t object to this task, I just can’t say what I want to say and no one is listening anyway.  And even though it’s not New Years or any other time when people traditionally re-evaluate their life, I’d like to do a self assessment on everything BUT work.

Review of Previous Period’s Objectives/Goals

Since this is my first time doing this, I don’t have a previous list of goals.  But a few ones that I have met over the past year:

– Take a hooping workshop and fire hoop for the first time

– Make a hoop video (I did this last night!)

– Create interactive art for Playa Del Fuego

– Help run an official Theme camp at Playa Del Fuego

– Cohabitate with my love 😀

– Perform fire in a group at Burning Man (wasn’t for conclave, but our dress rehearsal was a performance.)

Major Responsibilities/Accomplishments

Well, my accomplishments are listed above.  Responsibilities? Hmm. What are my responsibilities outside of work?

– Take care of my kitties (check. though they need brushing and I can’t find the brush, they are happy and healthy!)

– Pay bills and stay on top of finances (eh still struggling but I’m mostly responsible here)

Seriously? Those are the only “MUST DO” responsibilities that I can think of, but if I get into “SHOULD DO” I can think of more. This is brainstorming, not necessarily all of these were accomplished, but they are all things I’m working on.

– Responsibilities to self:  Eat in ways that sustain me and improve my health.  Get some movement in, every day hopefully.  Get enough sleep.  Spend time doing things that nurture and sustain me, and improve/educate myself.  Be aware of needs, desires, and boundaries.  Learn to say no to things that will only cause stress, and yes to things that scare me but are good for me.  Keep home a cleaner, nicer place to relax and rejuvenate.  Make sure financial basic needs are met (pay bills on time, keep roof over head, improve credit rating).

– Responsibilities to family/friends:  Love and care for kitties.  Love Random, spend quality time together, work on mutual dreams and goals.  Call and visit family.  Often.  Spend quality time with friends/family of choice, be there when they need support.

– Responsibilities to community/world:  Participate in life, don’t just spectate.  Contribute discussions, time, art, and effort to events that matter to me and to issues of importance in the world.  Improve my “green” efforts.  Bring joy and awareness to those around me.  Help create things/movements as a group for larger reaching efforts.


I have great ideas.  I can help others make their ideas happen. I have a harder time making my own ideas happen 😛

Love learning and experiencing new things.  A sense of adventure.

Curious mind, always wanting to know how things work and how to do new things.

A sense of responsibility to community and the planet.

Willingness to look like a fool in public for the sake of fun.

Never underestimating the power of fun, camaraderie, good food, or good sleep.

Development Needed

Knowing and trusting my strengths.

Making decisions.

Balancing what goals I can set and accomplish on my own to improve my life, and what ones I should set and work on together with my love.

Incorporating my passions into my job/career.

Pursuing bigger picture adventures without getting bogged down with the daily grind.


Balancing responsibilities and fun time.

Incorporating good ideas and lifestyle changes permanently.

Being gentle with myself for doing things poorly or not at all.

Watching where I spend/waste time.

Next Period’s Objectives/Goals and Target Dates

In the next month/s I shall:

– Make progress on cleaning/simplifying our home.  (Make a game plan with my love, figure out what we can do together to do this.)  Two weeks to a garage sale, so the incentive is there.

– Bring/create some joy into my work life, even if it’s tiny ways.  Be more present and productive at work.

– Set some short and long term individual and mutual goals with my love, and figure out ways to keep part of our efforts focused on them.

– Enjoy every moment of summer while it’s here.  It goes so fast.  Be present in the moment.

– Continue to increase healthy habits and decrease unhealthy ones.

– Increase calls/visits to family.  Decrease guilt about it never being enough 😛

In the next year I shall:

– Find a way to enjoy my job or find a new one.

– Relocate (if/when it suits both of us & our jobs).

– Have a routine to keep our home simplified, cleaner, and more green.  Reduce the amount of things I own and use/enjoy the things I do own.

– Leave time/space for unplanned adventures and spontaneity.

– Explore my creativity in old and new ways.

– Contribute time and energy to the groups that matter to me – PDF, PEX, fire community, etc.

– Whether through the above or not, work on creations/artistic acts that make a public impact in some way.

– Never stop growing or improving, but always allowing me to be gentle to myself when needed.

– Focus on what matters most.  Release things/people that don’t matter, that are more harmful than beneficial, whose time is just past.


Ack.  OK.  This was quite the onion peel.  I had been thinking I couldn’t afford an acquaintance’s new ecourse, but after seeing this I think I should sign up (I only have today left to decide 😛 I also worry about the workload, as I finish an e-course that I fell behind on, and summer is a crazy time…)

I’m going to turn this around to you.  Questions or ideas for me?  Did this raise any thoughts of what you can do in your own life?

I have a million ideas but can never decide on ways to implement them.  I find tons of amazing resources online like the happiness project (I even have a starter kit to start a group), creative every day challenge, joy rebellion, 29 day giving challenge…. Too many to choose from and commit to them all.

Do you want me to share more things like this with you? Would you be interested in a virtual or in person effort to pursue one of these things?  If you are anything like me, you may say YES! and even pick one, but without serious commitement to it, our efforts will fall apart.  And being spread too thin over many efforts does the same.

I’ll continue to share these things in case they strike a chord with you, but if you think that you and I should start a new community effort and you are willing to help, let’s talk.  Maybe it will be a slow start, being summer and all.  Maybe we can create something amazing.  Maybe we’ll just have some amazing brainstorming and go on with our lives better for it.

I’m not feeling like LEADING this at this moment, but I look for those who want to CO-CREATE with me.  To conspire with me.  Or hell, just to console and have a cocktail on the rough days.  I don’t know.  If you are already in my life chances are you already do one of those things at least.  I’m just planting a seed, and seeing what comes from it.  I’m focusing on that which I want to nurture in my life, and I need some people around to support and remind me of that so I don’t get too far off track.

So – now that I wrote this huge ass post on my own time and just finished posting it during a brief break at work (*wink wink*) I should get back to my real task at hand.  Which is of course, procrastinate and plan for the weekend trip!

Tag Quiz Time!

One of the natives spotted at the Figment art festival in NYC

One of the natives spotted at the Figment art festival in NYC

I was tagged by Bella! OK let’s go.

1. Who is the hottest movie star?

I don’t know why but I always have a hard time picking someone off the top of my head! I think of all the ones I drooled over when I was a teenager, for some reason… Christian Slater. Harrison Ford. Johnny Depp. I guess in later years I watch fewer movies and more TV? I think Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles are at the top of the current list, but I know there are some I’m just not thinking of right now…  Like Nathan Fillion. Hmm wait, doesn’t say male or female. Audrey Toutou, Holly Hunter, Eliza Dushku, this is a very random list of people coming to mind….

2. Apart from a house and/or car, what is the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?

Well, I did buy a horse at one point. I’m pretty sure that tops the list (though it wasn’t unreasonably high, of course the money poured into boarding and riding equipment added up to so much more!)

3. What’s your most treasured memory?

Oh geez that’s a tough one.  I have so many. But I’d have to say the whole experience of Burning Man last year, particularly the splendid sunrise my love and I watched from PEX.

4. What was the best gift that you ever received as a child?

I may be wimping out on this one by saying this – books. I loved to read as a kid, and I’m glad I read as much as I did.  I guess also the playhouse at my grandma’s house is a pretty big one – that was awesome as a kid.

5. 4 words to describe yourself ~

Silly, Querulous, Adventureous, Complex

6. What was the highlight of 2008?

Finding my love ❤

7. Favorite film?

So many:  Say Anything. Amelie. Serenity. Princess Bride. Dark Crystal. Stardust. Eternal Sunshine.

8. Tell me one thing that I don’t know about you.

My inner dialogue never shuts up.  It’s really rare for it to be quiet in my head.

9. If you were a comic book / cartoon character, who would you be?

Pippi Longstocking. Though I want to be as cool as Death, or as crazy fun as Delerium, I’d probably be the awkward chic with a horse in the house.

10. What’s one stupid thing that you did today?

Give me time.  Other than get to work late and this 😛 I’m sure I’ll do something else. (Though I did put on a shirt before putting on my bra this morning, I did realize it immediately after.)

I’m tagging:







Stormy Sky, just before hail, Clark Park, Philadelphia

Stormy Sky, just before hail, Clark Park, Philadelphia

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to
experience the world in the way they have been told to.”
-Alan Keightley


A Brief Guide to World Domination at the Art of Nonconformity. (There’s a PDF document that you can view or download on that page.)


#1: What do you really want to get out of life?

#2: What can you offer the world that no one else can?

Feel free to share here.

I am still refining my answers.  I read other people’s answers at the link above not to cheat but to help put it into words.  (I seem to “know” things and have difficulty finding the words to express it, clearly and simply sometimes.)


Above all else, I want to be happy.  This doesn’t mean I’ll never be mad or sad, but I want the general emotion/feeling of my life to be happiness.

I think that getting/maintaining this happiness (I think this past year has definitely been one of my happiest!) involves a balance of simple times at home (and quality time with friends/family) and adventurous travels.

I think that my ideal life would be similar to this person’s comment –

My dream is to enjoy useful, engaging, and lucrative work with the flexibility to live comfortably, give generously, travel regularly, sleep in, hang out, get fit, and cook (and eat) luxuriously until the end of my days.

Being any more concrete than this is difficult – I have many dreams, some of which are the kind that you always have as dreams, and some I do hope to actually do.  I don’t have any career goals except one that I find fulfilling and supports me/my family and the things that bring us the most joy.


This is the hard one.  Yeah I can wimp out and just say no one else has the same views/thoughts/whatever that I have, because yeah we are all special flowers.  Whoop-de-do.

I don’t know what I am good at or what makes me unique.  Because I’ve only ever been me, and can’t really judge without bias.

Some people think I’m brave/adventurous, for traveling abroad alone, for going to Burning Man, for spinning fire, things like that.  But I know so many people that are way more adventurous than I am.

I know I have some talents/skills, but I feel like I’m more a jack-of-all-trades rather than excelling in any area.

The things that truly feel the most “me” – the most unique and self identifying traits… I don’t see those as things that I can offer the world, they are just my characteristics – not much different than the color of my hair or eyes.

I don’t know of anything I can offer that no one else can.

I know I care too much, do too little, can be way too selfish, battle with myself, usually am inspired more than inspiring others.  I know I (sometimes) don’t let fear get in the way of new adventures, but the fear and the voices of the “shoulds” (parents/society/whatever) haunt me and sometimes win, and I’m not proud of that.

I know I don’t know all the answers, and can be gullible at times, but tend to stay neutral in arguments between friends because I can see valid points on each side.  I try to be a peacemaker and avoid drama, but often at the cost of my own peace.

Maybe I’m hung up on the “uniqueness” of what I think this answer should be.

It may also be tied into some personal changes in thought that have morphed over the past year, and specifically around the election, on how I feel we can impact the world the most.  And I’m not sure I’m ready to put that out in a public blog yet because it’s just too raw still and different from anything I really envisioned for my life.  But you never know what the future holds, and whether that path will be mine or not….

Anyway.  I invite you to think of your own answers, whether or not you share them here.

And – this is kind of a scary request (but let’s be adventurous)…  What do YOU feel I have to offer the world that no one else can?

The theme for today is lists.  Sent links for 43 Things and 101 things in 1001 Days to Limerick, and found the below posted on 101 things.  The original article mentions “before you die” lists.  I never think of them as that, more as “how to LIVE” lists.  My 43 things are mostly ongoing, so it’s hard to cross them off ;o)  But as the writer of Zen Habits says, the goal is NOT to check off things just to say they were done.  The goal is to not sit idle and watch life pass by!

Anyway – here’s the summary of the article:

6 Questions to Ask Yourself to Get the Most Out of Life

A recent article over at Zen Habits made me think a lot about the motivation for creating a 101 Things list. The 6 Questions to Ask Yourself to Get the Most Out of Life can be seen as a great starting point to coming up with ideas for self improvement on your list:

1. Who do I love, and what am I doing about it?
2. Am I pursuing my dream, or is fear stopping me?
3. Am I doing something that matters?
4. What am I doing to help others?
5. Am I as good a person as I want to be?
6. What am I doing to live life with passion, health and energy?


1.  Random. What am I not doing about it? 😀 

My family.  I’m horrible about calling them.  I’ve grown to dislike the phone.  I also need to visit them more often.

My friends.  They are my family too.  It’s hard when I feel drawn in many directions, and want to spend time with all of them but also need time to replenish myself.  hmm.

Me.  Yeah.  Sometimes, it’s OK to put me first.  The whole oxygen mask on the airplane analogy.


2.  I’m trying to figure out what my dream is still.  Workwise, no clue.  Aside from work, it’s just to have adventures with friends and those I love, to be challenged and challenge others, to grow, to never stop learning and more importantly, never stop playing.  It may look like goofing off, but I consider this pursuing my dream.

Fear may stop me in the career part – fear of failure, fear of hating something else, I don’t know.  It’s something I’m definitely struggling with, but to me the job is just to pay for shelter and for adventures and lots of cool toys 😛


3.  Again, splitting between work and social.  Work? I suppose so, roads need to be improved so I do provide a service.  If I weren’t here, someone else would do it.  I dunno…

Outside of work?  I want to do more.  Not sure how to go about that.  But I do feel that being part of a Burner community is doing something that matters – to other burners, to myself, and when I bring a bit of burner spirit to the rest of the world, I hope that matters too…  I suppose rather than a big thing I try to do lots of little things.


4.  Not enough.  Really.  How can anyone other than those who devote their lives to others really say anything else?  Again, if helping others in small ways matters, I do (try) that.  I need to devote more time and money to serious causes though.  Still haven’t donated to the food bank because of money shortage over the holidays, and I want to donate to Doctors without Borders again.


5.  Am I a good person?  I like to think that most days I am.  If I were as good a person as I want to be, I wouldn’t have anything to strive for, so that’s enough for me, for now.


6.  Oh a stickler, this one.

Passion.  Easy.  (Get your mind out of the gutter! :P)  I explore what I’m passionate about, I jump in and learn everything I can.  And then I discover something else.  OK, mind back in the gutter, or at least in terms of relationships – I do my best to love fully and accept love in return.  I read once that we only accept the love we think we deserve.  That makes a lot of sense, and I’m trying to remember that.  Because many days I don’t know what I did to deserve such an awesome guy ❤   (and awesome friends too!)

Health/Energy.  They go together.  Always striving to find joyful ways to move (not the E word!), to eat more wholesome foods than unwholesome ones, to improve our home environment so that it’s a place of rest and relaxation.  I definitely need to work harder on this, but I try.  Most of the time.  (Right now the vending machine is calling my name, miso soup was yummy but still hungry.) 



Yeah, so most of the things on my lists fall into these categories, but it’s a good checkpoint of sorts to answer them.  (Not tagging anyone, but feel free to contemplate on these even if you don’t blog/write publicly about them.)

A few positive thoughts for the New Year resolutions ponderings, and reminders of what’s important.


(I really want to read/process more about this story, but my heart can’t bear it today… Things like this, and prop 8 passing, make me want to take Big Action (whatever that is), but it’s so hard for me to stay in that mindset because I just get so angry and sad that I’m not capable of being very productive.  Sigh.  Add figuring out how I can help to #4.)


OK let’s end on a more positive note. This seems applicable, one of my favorites…

This is my living faith, an active faith, a faith of verbs:
to question, explore, experiment, experience, walk, run, dance, play, eat, love, learn, dare, taste, touch, smell, listen, argue, speak, write, read, draw, provoke, emote, scream, sin, repent, cry, kneel, pray, bow, rise, stand, look, laugh, cajole, create, confront, confound, walk back, walk forward, circle, hide, and seek. To seek: to embrace the questions, be wary of answers.

~Terry Tempest Williams, naturalist and author (1955- )



The amount of writing (mostly in emails/forums) I’ve done this week… I should just be a writer ;o)

Exhaustion hit me like a brick wall half an hour ago. I guess I am still tired from PDF, despite sleeping in on monday in a bed, but I only got to sleep in my own bed last night after a long day (2+ hour commute, workday, visiting dad for his birthday…)  I’m afraid I’m fighting off being sick. I can’t afford that, literally (I’d have to take a sick day unpaid, meanwhile they want mandatory OT at work), so fuck the unpacking and costume sewing. I’m taking it easy tonight and catching up with my DVR. The only critical things on my to-do list are feed the kitties and myself.

I want to do Nablopomo again this year, but strive for quality blog posts as well as posting everyday. I’m not masochistic enough to do Nanowrimo this year.

So, I need some help. I know I have some people reading this, but don’t hear from you often ;o)  I want some random questions or topics you’d like to hear me answer. List as many as you want. I’ll try to get to all of them (I tend to be fairly open, at least when questioned, but will keep in mind that family/coworkers can read this!) 

You can start leaving ideas now, although I won’t be using them until November 1.  And I’ll remind you closer to the date.

Yeah. Ok. I feel like I can fall asleep sitting up right now. I’m going, and thankful that I have a very short drive home. Take care y’all.