Archive for November, 2008

Step Back


A coworker just was saying to me yesterday about how life goes faster and faster, and you need to step back. It’s true.

In the past year I’ve had some ups and downs, but by far, the good has outweighed the bad.

It seems like a lifetime ago that I met a Random guy, and yet the months have flown by in the meantime. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling in the past 6 months, and if I did, it wasn’t for long.

My grandmother passed, but at that point it was a blessing, we didn’t want her to suffer any further.

The memories made with friends and my love this year have been outstanding, and though it’s hard to believe, I know we’ll keep making better and better memories and experiences and adventures. As good as this year was, the next is going to be even more amazing. I just know it.

So my birthday wishes for myself (I don’t believe keeping things secret helps them come true… except for certain circumstances)

~ to continue to share love and adventures with Random ‚̧
~ to deepen the friendships that I have and spend more time with those I care about
~ to find a more rewarding career or hobby that can become one
~ to let go of guilt over things that are not my fault or not under my control
~ to just be. in the moment.
~ to always be grateful for the blessings in my life

33. I am liking the symmetry, and 3 is always a good number.

It’s gonna be an awesome year ūüėÄ


Those who know me, know that I cycle through different hobbies (you could even say, obsessions) almost as often as the seasons change.  Some I dabble in, some I immerse myself in, some drop to the wayside never to be touched again and some return time and time again.

I’m feeling a boredom from lack of a new obsession.¬† The last one really was fire, and even though I did the conclave thing, my true drive/passion to pursue it already was waning (I still play, and hope to retain enough skills to continue fire, poi and hooping, I don’t see ever giving it up completely.)¬†

I suppose you could say after that, that my obsession this summer/fall was love ;o)¬† It certainly took up much (ok all!)¬†of my spare time, thoughts, daydreams. By NO MEANS is this obsession going away, but before I go crazy doing things like *ahem* purusing wedding forums when I’m bored (hey. we had a playa wedding and did a scavenger hunt for a diamond ring. my inner bride (I had one??) was awakened. and it’s just a project, something to research.¬† all in good time, all in good time…..)¬† I need something to stimulate the “new/research/learning/planning” part of my brain.¬† While he plays Fallout 3. ;o)¬†¬†

I hope to spend time this winter with simplifying/organizing, and hope to finally knit that Abfab afghan kit that has been sitting here.¬† Free time has dwindled as we have more social obligations to do together, and we’ve been relishing down time to relax.¬† So, what can I do that doesn’t add more to the calendar, or cost much?¬† I have the photography that I dabble in, but I don’t have the drive to pursue that in depth as I see it as a long term lower activity hobby.¬†¬†I’ve become interested in learning American Sign Language, to be able to communicate with some new acquaintances.¬† I don’t know…. I want something that involves research on the computer, so that I don’t necessarily have to go anywhere to participate in it (and my location doesn’t matter as much).¬† (I’d love to get back¬†into art or jewelry classes, but the time and money thing¬†pretty much rules it out.)¬† I wish I could find something that could make¬†some spare money, but I know how unlikely that is. ¬†Recently came across a store for quilting – while traditional quilts aren’t my thing, I’ve seen some cool crazy quilts, and I have a pretty awesome sewing machine.¬† But nothing is grabbing me, making me want to consume more and more information.¬†

I actually stopped reading for a while, just because i hadn’t bought any books, I’m trying to be better about that because I do love to read.¬† I was asked to blog more for my town blog, but I am at a loss of what I could blog ABOUT.¬† My love and I have mentioned geochaching as a possible interest, but it’s winter now and I’m an immediate gratification kinda gal.

It’s just about some kind of intellectual stimulation from something new. That I could research during my lunch break at work.¬† A topic that leads me on fun google goose chases, and scavenging around on the internet.¬† I won’t bother to pretend to do Nanowrimo or Nablopogmo, I don’t need an external structured event, I need a passion to learn something that I don’t already know.¬† I’ll keep my eyes open, but let me know if anything comes to your mind! In the meantime, I suppose christmas shopping is a project, even if I’m not passionate about it or the lack of funds making it difficult, definitely needs to be done.

And heck.¬† Maybe my little town could use a blog on low budget, crafty, creative, eco-friendly,¬†and local suppliers sources for Christmas gifts….¬† Hmm…. Shopping=research and kills two birds with one stone!

Oh, and you can welcome Random to blog-land if you’d like ;o)¬† Just got it off the ground last night so still working on the setup.

That time of year

It’s a strange time of year.¬† There’s a definite pattern that I notice.

The leaves are almost all gone.¬† The time change means it’s always dark when I leave work.¬† My favorite season is coming to an end.

I’m recovering from a cold, which isn’t completely gone but hanging on by tooth and nail, or maybe it’s allergies.

It seems like everything should be slowing down.¬† Of course it should, it’s getting to be hibernation time. The calendar suddenly is much clearer but it doesn’t last long.

I have my birthday, then Thanksgiving, then the holidays (with my grandma’s birthday before Christmas, my mom’s in January).¬† It gets to this time and I should be excited, but instead I’m just trying to get through all the obligations, and get bitter about how my family won’t even let me pick the restaurant I really want to go to even when it’s MY birthday (and¬†I offer a compromise, not some strange freaky place), and somehow I just muddle through it.¬† 3 households that don’t speak to each other.¬† Trying to coordinate being at X place when cousins are there, and Y place when my brother is there, etc., etc., etc.¬† No wonder I get tired just thinking of it.

While I do think it’s partially a seasonal thing, even though it’s dark in January and February, my malaise doesn’t start then, it starts now.

With even more confusion this year on schedules (adding in another family, 2 hours away, to the mix on places to be), and with some of my family saying one thing and probably doing another, I just don’t know – the only certainty is that I’ll be celebrating with my love. ¬†

It’s not JUST the family stuff or the change in weather.¬† I can’t put my finger on it.¬† But it feels familiar, this sliding into a depression as the world is changing from reds and oranges and golds to grey and brown.¬† I think it’s that I WANT the solitude and rest of January and February – I’m ready for it now.¬† But it’s a whirlwind of activities and shopping and stress until then.¬†

I’ll do my best to stay grounded, and focus on the light in my life that doesn’t come from the sun or bright leaves. ‚̧

Drinking Game

May be a bit late for those of us not of the west coast but enjoy!!

Um. Yeah.

I could delete that post from October 31 and pretend I never wrote it.  But you are smarter than that.

Life (and a headcold and a deadline at work) got in the way. *shrug*

Eh, I have more interesting things to worry about than trying to keep to that self imposed restriction. 

Off to finish up this work and plan other fun events.