Category: random stuff

No more hiding

I’ve been hiding.

In winter, we called it hibernating – given the amounts of snow we had, and few things to do, it was a great excuse to stay holed up and rest.  Just when the urge to be social again hit us, a bunch of crazy stuff happened that made me pull back again.  We started making plans and seeing friends, but emotionally and virtually (on blogs and social network sites) I’ve retreated.

I questioned who my friends are and who could be trusted.  I questioned myself, as to how I felt less myself and why – was it an issue of struggling to maintain self identity in a marriage already? Was it post wedding depression, and would it go away?   I don’t know, and I may not for a while.

(However, for the record, married life really DOES rock! Just to be clear, none of these are marriage issues – they are the “sort out my head” issues and having never been married before, these questions come up.)

But while I used to come here and spill out my heart, I stopped.  I feared the consequences – as someone who is likely a facebook friend betrayed me.  I feared being hurt or hurting my friends in some way.  I feared my mother was reading (while I always keep in mind that a parent or employer could read this, I try not to restrict myself as much as I have been).

Blogging is a part of me – typing out the entries is my therapy.  If I want to (and I do) someday make money from any creative endeavors on my part, I need to sell my soul.  (I love Danielle LaPorte, though I am not taking that workshop.)  If I don’t, I’m just imitating everyone else who inspires me.  I look around at what others do, and feel that they stole a concept that was going to be my great enlightened moment in the near future.  And now that they are doing it, they probably do it better than me, so I need another idea.  Yeah. This has been the crazy circular logic that – along with my fears – has had me stuck in one place.

And here we are in spring, where the spring weather is STARTING to make an appearance, but even on the cold days I see the buds in the trees and bushes, the cherry blossoms, the forsythia bushes.  In true stereotypical fashion, spring brings a new hope.

I need to let go of the how, and focus on the why.  I want to share more, even the ugly messy parts, because when I do I find a new level of connection with people.  I’ve blogged while crying and planning to erase it the next day, when I get supportive comments saying that others have felt exactly the same.  This is my soul, my truth, and I need to keep sharing it.  I can’t always share it in the real world or in person, if only for lack of thinking fast on my feet, but this is how I do it.  This is MY space, my identity, and I’ll keep it despite however many blogs/sites we may have at one time 😛

Kinda crazy, but a big part of what prompted this entry was a simple encounter at lunchtime with a coworker.  We were having a great chat about TV shows, when he stated that he stopped watching one because there were scenes of two guys making out.  I was offended by his statement, and replied that it wasn’t a problem with our TV watching group, as some of them are gay.  Maybe I could have said something better, maybe not.  After the shock passed, it made me so thankful for my community of friends and their lack of homophobia.  It made me think about how my coworker would probably never become friends with the gay couple we watched that same TV show with, and it made me realize just how much he’s missing out by that.

What it comes down to is that I am so restricted in how I can be “myself” in the office environment, that I absolutely have to take advantage of the ways that I can, that I have to use outlets like this to bare my soul, and that – especially as a woman married to a man in this hetero-normative society, I have to make sure that my thoughts on human rights, sexual identity, and such that I take for granted among like-minded friends are shared with those who are NOT in that mindset.  It’s time to shake the world up a little bit more.  It’s time to be less afraid.  It’s not about confrontation, it’s about being more open about myself and my viewpoint so that people don’t assume my thoughts for me.

It’s going to piss some people off, it’s going to hurt some people.  I hurt someone with my post on my friend’s suicide, as someone who knew her protested loudly that it wasn’t suicide, I was wrong for saying it was, and I was offending her family.  It was upsetting at the time, but now I can only think of how hurt this woman truly was when she eventually was told the truth, by someone other than me.  I still don’t regret posting it.

Fuck the haters, fuck the cowardly internet stalkers, fuck the homophobes.  If the only thing I have to lose is the support of people I don’t agree with?  Then I have absolutely nothing to lose and we all have something to possibly gain.

Do I contradict myself?
Very well, then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

– Walt Whitman

I feel a million possibilities within me.

I feel the urge to chase them all, do them all, but the ole limits of space and time get in the way.

One day, I know I’ll have time to putter in my garden.  Spend hours taking photos.  Energy and money to travel to places near and far.  Cook sumptuous meals for friends and family.  Escape the cubicle.  Create art.  Do things I never imagined doing.  Run my own business.  Collect eggs from my chickens.  Create a new legacy.  Design costumes.  Decorate interiors.  Paint.  Write.

When it appears that I don’t care about what I do, it’s just that I want to do it ALL – so go ahead, pick something you’d like to do.  Even if I never thought of trying it, I may enjoy it. I’ll let you know if I don’t.

I thought that I needed to find my one true passion.  Something that would be my career and define my life.  I’ve slowly come to realize that my gift is having passion for so many things, so many options… As long as I don’t stop short out of fear of making the wrong choice.

I keep forgetting that the major cause of all my stress is trying to live according to how other people think or say I should live.  When I think of how it fits into my personal rules of life, things are so much clearer.

Occasionally I am sad that I don’t have the time/money/energy/space to devote to one singular passion.  I rationalize it that there will be times in the future that will be more suited for that task.  There’s part of me that knows “What if?” that day doesn’t come.  But you know what?  It just means I spent my time on something else, something just as important.

The only thing I do know is that he is my constant.  There are a million possibilities within me, and a million paths we could travel in life.  Some are not meant for us, for this lifetime.  But some are.  All I know is I want my hand in his as we discover our adventures together.

Failing to fetch me at first keep encouraged,
Missing me one place search another,
I stop somewhere waiting for you.

ETA: In discussing this with an online class, people referenced two books I already own and read a while ago!  Refuse to Choose!: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love by Barbara Sher (she also has a forum for “scanners” – her term for our habits!) and The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One by Margaret Lobenstine.  And I stumbled on this site too.

Since this may help others who can relate to the “scanner” or polymath lifestyle, I had to come back and share it!

Tuesday Randoms

I’ve been too quiet lately, been absorbing too much information and not enough time for my own creating.  Though I do have a big project in the works!! I think I needed to fill in time because well, wedding planning doesn’t take that much time, and either everyone else is really busy or assuming I’m really busy because of that! 😛

I realize I contradict myself there.  I have lots of time for thinking, daydreaming, consuming information online.  I don’t have the time get done things that need to get done in person, in free time.  (I think you all know where I’m getting at here, without incriminating myself.)

Wedding – not much going on the planning front right now.  Need to sort hotels, florist, and rehearsal dinner – hopefully that can be done in one day in Stroudsburg this month!  Once I settle on one of my numerous ideas for favors and decoration, I should start those projects and have a crafting party for help.

This weekend is the Steampunk World’s Fair – it’s a Jeff Mach event (he does Wicked Faire) and I spent Sunday afternoon improving my steampunk outfit!  I’ll definitely have to post photos but haven’t taken any yet.

Speaking of photos… that’s what my big project is about.  I am slowly working on taking my photography to a new level.  Slowly for a few reasons, one is to not stress over that in addition to wedding and other events going on, and because I want to launch and brand it with my new name (rather than launch and change names in October!)  I am working on a gallery site and a blog, but it’s lower on the priority list except when I have the time to brainstorm about it while doing other things. But I plan on making lots of my friends sign model releases, and I hope to take photos at the Steampunk fair with signed model releases, to get that gallery up and going!

I have several folders of photos that still need processing and uploading, but I have ones from a Morristown event here.  Some are too dark because I just published them all without fixing.  Oh and my flickr will remain as it is for informal and vacation shots to share with friends.  All my “pro” photos will be on a new gallery/site, which I’ll let you know when the sneak preview starts!

My tax refund went towards two new camera lenses, they arrived yesterday and I have YET to use them! The horror.  And tonight I must do belated mother’s day visits, since we had company and my mother was under the weather with a headcold or allergies on Sunday.

And because I was caught off guard an hour earlier than expected, and pre-coffee, I signed up for Susannah Conway’s sequel to her Unravelling course!  I was debating the cost, but I enjoyed the last workshop immensely and I hope this helps me in outlining a vision for where I want to go.

What else…

Oh. I thought about writing a whole entry just on Bella, but still can’t bring myself to do it (edit – this turned into most of what I wanted to say).  Yesterday, more information was shared with me about her death and it reopened that wound.

I don’t know why I am so affected, because honestly I feel like saying we were friends is not the complete truth.  We were online acquaintances, we met once, and we never had any particularly deep interactions with each other.

But I remember her being so full of joy, live, love, and energy.  I admire her photography and her urban explorations, and I kept wanting to discuss that with her but I never did.  I can relate to how she can appear happy and yet be hiding a lot of pain underneath.  She sent me a private message once just to say that I rock.

Somehow her death just pushes me to be inspired by her, to live how she wanted to live, to seize the day, to not dismiss people who learn to put a mask over their pain, to realize that any of us can get to that point.  And to not keep quiet.

A coworker of hers left a note on my previous post about her.  I didn’t see it at first and followed up in an email.  After my inquiry about her note and message, I was attacked for stating the truth, for stating that she killed herself, though it was below a blog entry cut (you had to click through to read, and there was a warning first) and it was only mentioned once, with her nickname.

I feel sorry that in her pain and loss of her friend, that reading my entry caused more hurt. But I refused to be silent about it because I stand by the fact that the more you try to push suicide under the rug, the more people will suffer.  I am still keeping the details of her death private, because while I learned of them from her friends, it’s not my story to tell to those who don’t know.  But stating the truth is never inappropriate.

This is part of my email response to her –

There is no shame in saying how she died, and to pretend that she didn’t kill herself is dishonest to all those who struggle with depression.She brought such joy and light to the world, most of us never could have ever imagined that under the face she presented to the world, would be someone struggling, who would have a moment of weakness and give it all up. What I personally take from that is to follow her example in life, and do every single thing I can to make sure the people I love KNOW that I love them, so that just MAYBE if one of them is struggling, they’ll reach out for help.

Believe me, I have anger too.

And it’s not going to let me remain silent.

What I do will not change anything about the facts of Bella’s life (and death).


So yeah… a wave of grief and depression came over me yesterday upon the updates about her death.  I am recommitting myself again to this Bella pledge, and to have her life be an inspiration to do what would honor her most.

And then I got out and ran.

Random and I started the Couch-to-5k program. We are 2/3 of the way through Week 4.  Not only am I shocked that I’m doing this, I am astonished that I like it.  And yesterday, we were overdue for our next run and had excuses to put it off (like running over to mom’s), but I needed it more than ever before.  It’s still tough at times, but doing it as a team with Random is absolutely amazing – we both do our best to help each other and encourage each other.  We get a chance to be outside together with no distractions, other than beautiful nature, eating bugs, and trying not to die 😛  So yeah.  Never thought I’d be a runner.  Crazy shit man.  But when my mind was overburdened with family drama/health issues, Bella, and all that kind of stuff, it really helped.

(I’m gonna need reminding of this when it’s hot and humid, or cold and snowy outside.  Good think I’m getting used to this during wonderful spring!)

Thursday Randoms

(no there aren’t multiples of my fiance. luckily there’s only one and he’s mine :P)

Welcome to my stream of consciousness update.  If I keep waiting to write the perfect entry I’ll never blog again.

The iPad. Name sucks.  As Leo from Zen Habits said on twitter – “Important: the iPad is for consuming info, not for creating. It’ll help separate the two, which is wonderful for creators.”  I don’t know about separating the two, but I don’t need an oversized iPhone when I already have the tiny one.  If they get to the point where you can be more creative with it, use a stylus to take advantage of the tablet to sketch/use photoshop, then they’ll be getting somewhere.  I’ll want one eventually of course.

State of the Union.   Missed first part of it, I started off not very enthusiastic about it… He started promising huge things which made me question his ability to get them done, then he says if he fails it’s because we all failed.  Niiiice.  He’s the most human side I’ve seen in a president, and I really hope he/we CAN get all those things accomplished.  I’ve been horrible about following politics since the election except for what Random tells me he heard on NPR.  So I’m not really in a position to judge what’s going on but those are my thoughts on the speech.  He really is a great motivational speaker and appealing to the humanity in us rather than party lines will – I hope – go a long way.

Snow.  F that shit.  I usually love it but today it pissed me off.  The roads were horrible, and then Random was too busy at work to tell me he got there safely, so cue panic attack.  Didn’t help that around the time the overactive imagination starts, my ears clogged up and hurt and I had no decongestants with me to help.

Health.  I need to join a gym, at least until spring when we’re outside more.  I HATE GYMS.

Weddings.  I’m a bridesmaid in one that may be on TV.  SEE ABOVE.  (This is how much I love you M…. I would bail if I didn’t.)  Ours – planning is coming along fine, just need to spend more time on not-fun stuff instead of playing with graphics for the website redesign and invites.  Had another day of dress shopping, and I think I know where I’m going with that but not 100% sure…

Blogs. Gonna move the wedding blog from to hosting on and using wordpress the software.  I know they mean well but really, the same name for both things is so farking complicated.  But yay on full customization, and maybe I can move this blog there too.   Oh yeah – go read the blog to see our awesome logo!

PEX.  Doing the volunteer running yet again, and expanded duties to running a database of people who are available before and after for set up and clean up.  They wanted it done Tuesday, except for 5 names I’ve emailed everyone twice and called them once.  Still lots of no replies.  I feel like I’m letting them down because I didn’t get to do much on it over the weekend, but I don’t know if anything would have been done if I wasn’t helping.  (Oh yeah. Heartburn. Feb 13. Buy tickets NOW, they will sell out soon.)

Borderlands.  Over the worst of my addiction since we completed the game once and the zombie island, still another downloadable content to get and I’m thinking tonight or tomorrow night would rock for that.  Random wrote up a review of it.

Stuff. There’s so much going on, people I haven’t spoken to, things I should do…. and I still want to hibernate from it all.  I do what needs to be done, mostly, but ugh.  I know the pace will get worse and this year is gonna fly by, so I’m trying to just do what I can.  I don’t do resolutions on the new year but I like the idea of a word for the year, the only one that came to me so far is PRESENCE.  Being present in the moment.  Yeah it looks like that’s an excellent focus point as it will be a challenge this year.  Speaking of new years, holy fark where did January even go???

Tomorrow.  Friday.  THANK FARKING GODDESS.

* not as huge a BSG fan as much as I am a fan of the word fark and not actually swearing in public (as much).  Especially with ankle biters around. There was that one time I was swearing up a storm in a supposedly empty parking lot only to turn around as a woman walked her three small kids right by me.  Oops.  And repeatedly saying MILD swears in front of M’s nephew.  😛

Rainbows and Snow

Sorry I’ve been so MIA lately. Oh wait, first rule of blogging, don’t make every entry apologize for not blogging more.

But I have been quieter on the blog front – for a bunch of reasons, but partly for the holidays and the hibernation tendancies of winter.

Speaking of winter. One weekend morning during our first real snow of the season, I tested out a new kind of pancake.


It started as a promise to a rainbow loving friend to make these the next slumber party she hosts, but Random was a very eager guinea pig to try them out for me when I surprised him with them!  We even discussed making them various fruit flavors, but blue would be the challenge (as blueberries turn pancakes purple…)

Photos from Santacon NJ/NYC 2009 are here – my fisheye film camera was the only one to go along for the ride this time.

I almost started a new 365 project for 2010. Then didn’t, when all I had a week into it was a shot after midnight on New Year’s Eve.  Yes, I can start anytime, but probably won’t in January since I didn’t start on the first! 

I have photos that need to be sorted/edited/posted to flickr (holidays and NYE), and I need to take photos more often (new lens and flash between birthday and Christmas!).  Otherwise, we are planning the wedding, everyone else’s wedding that we are in and have to travel for, and fit all that into our PTO and budget – fun!

Oh yeah – PEX Heartburn, Feb. 13. Tickets on sale now and will sell out!!! 

I want to get back to blogging more – not these nonsense silly stream of thought updates, but saying less with more, posting more photos.  Some things happened that made me more private recently, (nothing serious, just minor reminders of how public the internet is) which make me draw back.  But when I do post what I’m feeling/thinking about, I feel more of a connection to others who feel the same, and that’s what’s exciting about blogging.  Right now, I just feel like it’s narcissitic and pointless at best 😛  Some of my biggest issues that I’d love to get out of my head don’t belong in a public space right now, so it’s probably for the best.  But I promise never to leave for good.

Mixmatched Baggage


I am having a hard time separating other peoples’ baggage from my own lately.

In case you think you recognize you/a situation below, know that:

1) I’m not writing this to slam on anyone or complain about what I know – and please don’t let this stop you from sharing things with me in the future!  Really!  This is my issue, not yours.

2) this is coming from several (at least 4) directions – so it’s not just you! This is just me processing, that’s all.  I don’t even need a response as much as just a chance to clear my thoughts!

Maybe it’s the part of me that wants to be neutral, like Switzerland.  I want everyone to still like me.  Unless I don’t like them.  (And sometimes the jury is still out on that…)

Maybe it’s that while I can consciously try to stay out of drama, when someone does something hurtful to a friend, I take it personally.

I should give people a chance, before I make up my mind about them based on someone else’s opinions.  But then, if someone I respect was mistreated, and I have limited time for my already dear friends let alone making new ones, maybe we should let the chance at a friendship pass by?

The truth is usually somewhere between the stories on both sides, and I often only know one side of the story.

I listen – to broken hearts, to friendships torn asunder, to offenses of the past, to drama and grudges where sometimes there is no longer any reasonable basis for such….

At what point should these affect my individual relationships with the speaker, with the main players, with the people on the sidelines, with those whose actions I disagree with but I see the hurt emotions behind it, with those whose actions I disagree with because they have no reason to bear grudges for others (continuing a vicious snowball effect)…

When I’m in the middle and friends with both sides – I do my best to support them both. It’s all I can do.

When I have almost no relationship to someone who caused my friend pain, do I give them the benefit of the doubt, and get to know them so I can decide for myself? Or do I just choose to be amicable at the rare times we interact and not put any energy into creating a new friendship?  What if I see the person often instead of rarely?

I do not have to hold grudges on behalf of my friends.  And I know no true friend would ask me to.  But when I’ve seen their pain, and know their story, it’s hard to be objective about it and not remember that.

I guess it boils down to the mama bear syndrome.  My drama? I can choose when to nurse it and when to let it go.  I can let it be their issue, not mine.  Drama shields can be raised.  But when my friends are hurt, I want to protect them and get defensive towards anyone who caused them harm, and rather than drama infiltrating the shielded zone it comes from inside of me.

The people I already know, the people I am friends with or in routine contact with, I am doing my best to forgive (not that it’s even my place to forgive sometimes) and forget and move on, but I can’t help feeling awkward at times.

For those that I barely know and see, it’s easier.  I don’t fret (much) over the offenses of the past, but I don’t put energy into deepening relationships with them, unless it ends up coming about naturally.

I don’t necessarily like doing this – conciously not becoming friends with someone, but I’ve developed friendships before despite many warnings as to their nature, which all turned out to be true and so much worse than anyone thought.  Sigh – when is it smart to listen to the warnings and when does someone deserve another chance?  I don’t know.  Maybe I’m missing out on some great opportunities, but as I said before my time and energy are limited as it is, so unless something happens naturally to move a friendship along…  I don’t know.  I know my guard will be up longer than usual even if I am not intentionally letting it affect my actions.

(The sequel post to this may be about turning down new friends when you are too busy for the ones you already have… That’s a whole nother can of worms!  And yes, I’ve heard of at least one story where someone met someone cool, and was told that they had no openings for friends in their life at that time.  Urban legend?  Who knows.  Kinda hard to google for it!  I’ve gone from years of constantly making new friends to a point where I worry that more would take away time that I should spend with those I have already. Ayeayay…)

Back to the main point….

I’m going to try to let this go.  I’ve honored my friends by listening to them, by offering advice, giving them comfort.  Holding on to the energy of the past is not doing me or them any service.  I’ll ask advice of those who seem to stay calm in the midst of chaos, friendly with all sides.  Next time something comes up that brings up OPB (other people’s baggage), if I’m not directly involved, I’ll breathe deeply and release it, it is not my struggle.

(This does NOT mean I’ll put up with people talking shit about anyone I care for.  But I will be mindful about when to defend a friend and when to ask that they just don’t say those things in my presence.)

And if you catch me getting caught up in OPB, please remind me of this.  Whether it’s gently saying something or smacking me in the head.  This has been too much of a pattern in my life recently – gotta love my dysfunctional family of choice sometimes! 😛 (and I really do!!!) but the only thing I can (and should) do is change my own actions and behaviour.  I have enough of my own baggage to deal with – I can support and encourage my friends without carrying their baggage along with mine.

Tag Quiz Time!

One of the natives spotted at the Figment art festival in NYC

One of the natives spotted at the Figment art festival in NYC

I was tagged by Bella! OK let’s go.

1. Who is the hottest movie star?

I don’t know why but I always have a hard time picking someone off the top of my head! I think of all the ones I drooled over when I was a teenager, for some reason… Christian Slater. Harrison Ford. Johnny Depp. I guess in later years I watch fewer movies and more TV? I think Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles are at the top of the current list, but I know there are some I’m just not thinking of right now…  Like Nathan Fillion. Hmm wait, doesn’t say male or female. Audrey Toutou, Holly Hunter, Eliza Dushku, this is a very random list of people coming to mind….

2. Apart from a house and/or car, what is the most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?

Well, I did buy a horse at one point. I’m pretty sure that tops the list (though it wasn’t unreasonably high, of course the money poured into boarding and riding equipment added up to so much more!)

3. What’s your most treasured memory?

Oh geez that’s a tough one.  I have so many. But I’d have to say the whole experience of Burning Man last year, particularly the splendid sunrise my love and I watched from PEX.

4. What was the best gift that you ever received as a child?

I may be wimping out on this one by saying this – books. I loved to read as a kid, and I’m glad I read as much as I did.  I guess also the playhouse at my grandma’s house is a pretty big one – that was awesome as a kid.

5. 4 words to describe yourself ~

Silly, Querulous, Adventureous, Complex

6. What was the highlight of 2008?

Finding my love ❤

7. Favorite film?

So many:  Say Anything. Amelie. Serenity. Princess Bride. Dark Crystal. Stardust. Eternal Sunshine.

8. Tell me one thing that I don’t know about you.

My inner dialogue never shuts up.  It’s really rare for it to be quiet in my head.

9. If you were a comic book / cartoon character, who would you be?

Pippi Longstocking. Though I want to be as cool as Death, or as crazy fun as Delerium, I’d probably be the awkward chic with a horse in the house.

10. What’s one stupid thing that you did today?

Give me time.  Other than get to work late and this 😛 I’m sure I’ll do something else. (Though I did put on a shirt before putting on my bra this morning, I did realize it immediately after.)

I’m tagging:








Something is percolating.

Ideas.  Concepts.  Small ones and big ones.
I hesitate to share, to write or speak out loud.  Fear of imitation? Eh, I’ve stumbled on someone else’s project today that FEELS a lot like what is percolating. And while I’m namedropping, this blog is inspiring me along similar lines.  I don’t think it’s that – because there’s so much similar out there, but it’s not MINE, that of course I’ll have my own twist on it.

I’ve been thinking on keywords that are at the core of this idea.


Authentic (self).






Succulent. (SARK’s keyword)

Waiting for a word to jump out as perfectly describing what I want, and unique enough to be a “buzzword” of sorts.  I don’t know where this is going, but I’m afraid if I don’t record it/share it, it may slip away through my hazy memories and disappear entirely.

Looking for a philosophy, a blog theme, something.  Where I HOPE it goes is somewhere like the joy rebellion, or the projects the other Katie creates (both links above) – something both small (meaning: unintimidating, easy to do with very little time/materials/costs) and BIG (meaning: spontaneous, public art, limitless possibilities, open to anyone to participate).

I don’t know. I’m always drawn to these kinds of projects and wish I could come up with something as simple yet with a big impact – at least on those who eyes/ears/hearts are open to the message.

So I’m letting it percolate. Adding inspiration. Adding time. Hopefully adding ideas that others have. Letting it all blend and mix and become part of ME, not just a collage of “other people’s work”.  No idea if anything will come of it, but let’s just wait and see.

Thursday Randoms

Too ADD for an on-topic blog post today! 😛

Zen for the busy? Check out Leo’s post “The Mindfulness Guide for the Super Busy: How to Live Life to the Fullest“.  Even though I’m not dedicating 30 days to it I may print it to hang up at work.

This head-bonk photo keeps making me smile. But I have to post both so you see his gorgeous eyes – half golden retriever, half chow.  (Not my pup – a online friend from a forum just adopted him!)



No hoop/poi jam tonight – I’ll be celebrating Beltane around a fire with friends! But we’ll be back at the Morristown Green next Thursday.

Do you have pig flu? Try checking here.  And people, the CDC even says you don’t need a mask unless you are taking care of someone who IS sick!  Wearing it in public just identifies you as the paranoid freak you are.

And I would go on about fear, as it ties into several things, but I have too much blood in my caffeine system at the moment.  It would include an anecdote about how I’ve dyed my hair bright blue (just in the back – still need to take a good pic…) and no one at work noticed/said a damn thing.  Wearing it down, it’s hard to see, but I just put it up in a twist expecting comments, none yet.  Hmm.  Maybe I CAN get away with doing it all blue!  😀

Weekend plans:  not entirely sure.  Possible hang with someone friday, possible party saturday.  Conclave on sunday.  In between, car shopping, cleaning the bedroom, possibly a bottle of wine at the laundromat, and maybe even buying some soil/plants for the balcony.   *goes back to first link*  #3. Do less.  Hmm.


Watch this. All the way. You’ll thank me (and yes, apparently it seems legit, though not all recorded in one shot as he had to use some equipment for more than one part at a time)