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Choices.

I wanted to share some words from a fire friend, JT (who I tend to quote often!) and it reminded me of a post of another friend on a vegetarian message board that I didn’t want disappearing in my poor memory or the ether of the internet, so here ya go. Neither was written by me.  Today, I woke up in a great mood – not by choice, just chance, but I choose to seize it and not let it go!

I try to love everyone – to accept them exactly as they are, as much as I know them in each moment. I strive to speak and act in accordance with my highest self – the choose from a place of fullest love for myself. I seek to love myself, first and foremost, and to make all my choices in accordance with that love: every choice conscious, every choice honoring who I am, every action a celebration of this life.

I strive for all those positive things – note the use of the word “strive”. “Strive: to exert much effort or energy; endeavor.” If it was easy, I woulda done it all, already. 🙂 That’s the challenge about choice – you have to keep making those choices all the time. Every moment, choosing the positive.

And yet, that’s also the incredible beauty of choice. All those choices I made in the past, all those times when I said I couldn’t, all those times I dwelt on the negative, all those times that I didn’t love myself, all those choices… they don’t matter right now. I get another chance, RIGHT NOW, to choose love over fear.

Any answer is okay. I get another chance to choose in just a second.

– JT

 

How I Trained Myself to Wake up Happy Every Morning. (a bit longish)

I didn’t add OT [off topic], because I feel it goes hand in hand with training ourselves to eat healthy, lose weight, become more physically active and to make whatever lifestyle changes we wish.

In the olden days, I think the only times I used to wake up happy was when I was in love with somebody or other. Now I wake up happy because I’m in love with myself. Truly. When the unhappy feelings about myself and the dread of getting out of bed became more than I could bear a few years ago, I decided to do something about it.

My first step was to realize that it was the negative thoughts I held about myself and about my life that were making me unhappy. I focused on what I didn’t like and what I hadn’t accomplished instead of on the positive. To change that I began doing what became one of the most powerful practices I’ve ever done. I kept a little journal next to my bed and every night before I went to sleep, I wrote down on one page 10 WINS I’d had that day. If it had been an especially good or productive day, there might be a page of amazing Wins. If the day had been a really tough one, the Wins might look like this:

* Got out of bed
* washed face
* brushed teeth
* got dressed
* put one foot in front of the other.

You get the idea.

I did that for months and months and I observed my thoughts and feelings improving. Somewhere in there, I saw that I needed more, so my second step was to begin writing 5 and then later, 10 Gratitudes for the day. My happy thoughts went up several more notches.

My third step was to begin using another practice I learned in a Workshop. Knowing that most of my negative habits had came from the way I was raised, I started seeing a second me, the self I was as a child. When, as an adult, I felt afraid or upset over something, I would imagine taking my 5 year old or 10 year old self on my lap, wrapping my arms around her exactly the way I did with my own daughter and telling her that everything was going to be okay, that I was her parent now and that I would always be there for her no matter what. I would tell her that it was okay that she didn’t know what to do. I, the adult, the mother, did know, and that I would hold her hand and guide her to resolved side of whatever problem she had. I do that one when needed, to this day and I cannot begin to tell you how comforted, supported and blessed that made me feel. I was able to move forward more confidently knowing how there I am for myself.

Later, that one switched to a very simple, loving, soft-spoken yet firm, “No, we don’t do that anymore,” when I joined WW and would catch myself saying unkind things about my weight, my food habits and about my body. I said it just the way a dear, dear friend would say it to me. That one has been the most powerful of all and I rarely even have to use it all anymore.

The third step came from a wonderful over-the-phone life coach I had a few years ago. This one REALLY cinched it for me as far as waking up happy goes each day. One of the biggest problems of my life has been feeling overwhelmed with all the things that need doing daily. I would go into this tailspin over where to begin and what was most important. As a result, I’d often end up depressed and get only about a tenth of it all done. It seemed I could never accomplish what I really wanted to do for myself. The practice she gave me, I’ve used for about 4 years now and because I had done all the above exercises, I had laid a good groundwork for this. Here it is:

She suggested that upon waking each day to let Gratitude fill my whole body to overflowing from head to toe, to really let it saturate every cell and molecule. After doing this for awhile, I simply awoke in that state and oh, my gosh, what a splendid feeling it is. I can’t help smiling when I open my eyes. Then, immediately following this, she said to ask myself what are the six things that I must accomplish that day and to see myself looking back at the end of the day, glad to see that they’d all been done easily and smoothly.

And it really helps that I have witnessed how changing my thoughts really have changed my life and my outlook. Like our dear Rebbers, I am happy from the inside out and I am so grateful to have had so much support for the changes both in my 3D life and here on the VB, from all of you.

I hope some of this might be of help to my veggiebuds here. Thanks for asking, dear Reb.

Much Love,

allth’galaxies

Blessed Ostara!

Happy Spring, Blessed Ostara, Happy Easter or Purim or Friday and end of the week ;o)

rebalance

I’d love to post something really deep and inspirational. But I’m mentally and emotionally and physically exhausted, after several health issues with family members and spending way too much time at the hospital. (Seems like everyone is ok, nothing critical, but it was nerve wracking for a while. Thanks to everyone who sent their vibes and love our way!)

So read a great post about Ostara by my friend Kayleigha here. It even touches on something that I hope to expand further in a really deep and inspirational post, so I’ll probably quote it again.

Until then, I’ll try to regain my balance.

Streetscape

IMG_0309 copy, originally uploaded by k8et.

Home away from home… who would have ever thought?

Warehouse

IMG_0337 copy, originally uploaded by k8et.

Some urban landscape pics in Philly prior to conclave practice at PEX.

Yael’s Video

Josephine

IMG_0280, originally uploaded by k8et.

For every good one of Josephine (here) there are about 30 of Stevie…

Stevie

IMG_0241_1 copy, originally uploaded by k8et.

Even with the new camera, the non-black cat is much more photogenic…. when he manages to stay somewhat still, that is!

Fire Conclave

So.  Let me set up the scene.Burning Man. It goes Monday to Monday. The energy and the number of people each day grows and grows.

Saturday, as soon as it’s dark, suddenly the mass of 50,000 people and numerous art cars that were running around in chaotic directions up to now all start to migrate to one place.

The middle of the city is where the Man stands. And tonight, he burns.

You sit down as close to the man as you can. Rangers stand guard to protect the inner perimeter. Drinks are passed, you make new friends with the people sitting next to you as you pass the time.

Suddenly, you hear a drum beat. a procession of drummers and keepers of the flame walk around the inner circle

The processional members eventually reach their destination in various places around the man.

The man, for the first time all week, has his arms reached above his head.

And as the drums pick up from a slow beat into a tribal rhythm that you can feel through the ground you are sitting on, the Conclave starts.

The Conclave is the word for the fire performers who perform at this special moment.

Troupes from all over the country and world apply to be part of this. They work on their choregraphy and costumes for over half a year.

when they are done, fireworks will engulf the Man and he will burn.

and guess what….

I’m going to be part of it!!!!

I joined the philadelphia fire conclave group!!!! I’m equal parts scared and excited.  Many of the people in the group are just OUTSTANDING artists, and I’ll have to bust my ass from now until Burning Man (last week of August).  But I’m excited about how much better I’ll be by then, and the people in the group are amazing and supportive.

Now I need to figure out a character/costume for the first part of the piece – we are supposed to pick something that represents America, a stereotype or symbol of the melting pot of the country.  My only idea so far is from Halloween – I dressed up rockabilly/50’s style (I didn’t know what rockabilly was, but it’s pin-up type style, like the opening credits on LA Ink).  I’d have to redo a dress, because it needs to be natural materials (so they don’t melt if hit with fire ;o)   But, I was also thinking of really chopping my hair before BM and coloring it funky.  So the hairdo would be more difficult… 
Still pondering, if you have any ideas for a costume I’d love to hear it! ;o)
 Mr. Green
(All photos in this post are from the www.burningman.com photo galleries. Sorry I didn’t pull proper credits on them…)

Eclipse

A friend posted this on tribe, not sure of the source…

Some astrological info on the eclipse tonight…

A lunar eclipse is a time of beginnings, endings, exposure and major changes. It always has something to do with “relationships”. The changes are tied to how we relate and will have a lasting impression. Emotions run high, causing upsets and feelings of disorientation. Actions taken often do not have the expected results, but they do bring awareness and enlightenment. The energy of an eclipse is at its strongest during the two days before and three days after its occurrence.

At lunar eclipses we: merge, unite, announce, contact, present ourselves, bring something out into the open, make decisions, engage, rise to the challenge, make an effort, change, get a new perspective, join with others, take on greater challenges, travel at a faster pace, feel restless, feel pressured by deadlines and a buildup of emotions, and experience excitement and crisis.

During a Full Moon, the Sun and Moon are in opposition, also called the Full Phase, indicating the linking of soul to spirit and awareness of purpose gained through relationship with another. A lunar eclipse is a supercharged Full Moon. The blocking of the Moon’s reflection of the Sun’s light by the Earth suggests that our material viewpoint stands in the way of our “seeing the light”. It serves as a reminder that we need to realize how we are held in the dark by virtue of our perspective.

Practicality and logical processes are temporarily out of balance. Harsh realities obscure spiritual ideals and block imaginative solutions. The challenge is to stay open to inspiration regardless of our daily circumstances.

Events associated with this eclipse had their origin in August 2006, were triggered into action in May 2007 and will resurface for completion beginning in November 2008. The last time a lunar eclipse occurred at this degree was in 1729. There was an eclipse close to this degree in February, 1989. A review of your life experiences around that time may provide clues to how you will experience this eclipse.

The eclipse does not have to fall in your sign for you to feel its effects. However, if your birthday is around Jan 7 or 22, Feb 20, Mar 21, Apr 6 or 21, May 22, Jun 22, Jul 8 or 24, Aug 24, Sep 24, Oct 9 or 24, Nov 23, Dec 23, you will definitely have an emotional response. If it makes any contacts to a planet or personal point in your chart, your experience of the eclipse will be heightened. 

The last full eclipse in August 2007, I was at Burning Man.  Watching it with friends from Jersey, and trying not to fall asleep.  Then, shouts that the Man was on fire – someone commited arson and torched it 5 days early…. 

The next one isn’t until December 2010, almost 3 years from now.

As I read my friend’s post up above, it made more sense that I am very antsy, haven’t been able to concentrate at work, right now just needed to get out of here, needing change. 

In discussing how I helped PEX set up and decorate for Heartburn, a friend who, (no offense to him), doesn’t get the burner spirit, says he would have just showed up and partied.  It’s difficult to explain the way we are drawn to give back and contribute to such an amazing community.  Here I sit, berating myself for not getting work done, and on Saturday, I willingly did whatever was needed.  I didn’t get a paycheck in return (in fact, they still need to reimburse me for some supplies I helped get) but it’s an energy exchange of another kind.  I’m not only looking to party and avoid responsibilities, but I only want to put forth my effort when it’s for a good cause.  Of course, a paycheck isn’t a bad cause, as it keeps a roof over my head and gas in the car to drive to Philly.

Just some random eclipse day thoughts.  Fed up with everything, tempted to just hide and sleep it out, but maybe there’s another answer….

Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…

When, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…

ENOUGH!

Enough fighting, and crying, and blaming, and struggling to hold on.

Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety, and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say, and that not everyone will always be there for you, and that everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view.

You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing, and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world, and that you can’t teach a pig to sing.

You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.

You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes.

You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe, what you allow, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself, and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself, and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

Author Unknown

(Gratitude to Armadillo for posting it)