Falling in love is like jumping off a cliff blindfolded.  At least at first it is.  The rush of euphoric moments blind us to everything else.

But I think that at some point, true love involves taking off the blindfold, seeing what’s below, and still leaping.  Or wait. We already lept…. OK maybe to not fight for a handhold to stop our fall?

MIxing metaphors like whoa.

But it’s the same metaphor. I have no idea what the point is here, I had some thoughts last night that sounded profound and all, I thought they were coming back to me but apparently not.

The point (maybe) is this. Lately, everyday, I am taking off the blindfold again.  Everyday, I wonder what the hell I am doing on the edge of this cliff. And shortly after, I think of (or see) his smile, I feel or remember his embrace, his heart, his words…

And I leap again.

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Maybe it’s the monthly emotional roller coaster.  Maybe it’s a little seasonal depression.  I feel like I am playing grown up, a mockery of adulthood, pretending I have my shit together but really feeling like I have no clue and my life is spiraling out of control.

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Wrote the above yesterday but didn’t post it.  Wasn’t making much sense.  Still feeling the blahs – whatever the culprit is, I don’t know.  I think they are temporary.  I hope so.  Trying to do Christmas shopping while worrying about money/personal finances, about commercialism, what it does to us as humans – really? trampling someone just for a sale? sigh.

Sitting here wrapped in my love’s sweatshirt, talking of moving some of his furniture here, hanging on to what’s important, what counts.

My favorite places in the world are places filled with you.  (Brian Andreas)

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This month is gonna fly by.  This weekend, lounging, sewing costumes, hanging with friends.  13th – NYC Santacon.  20th – PEX Santacon.  Christmas.  Out of town family/friends passing through.  I may be neglectful of reaching out to you, wrapped up in trying to stay sane through the craziness, but holler if you want to go to Santacon or just meet up for coffee.

It’s the season of light, whatever your faith… Time to remember the brightness as the world gets a little darker, allowing us time to go inwards and find the inner fire that gives us strength to get through the cold.

Keep on burning……