Archive for December, 2008

NY Santacon

I’ll post more about this later, but for those who want to stay in touch the day of NYC Santacon, PM me for my number if you don’t have it.  – starting location will be announced night before at 10 pm.

starts at 10 am saturday dec 13. I’m not sure when our group is joining – either for the start, or noonish to be better rested up for a long night ;o)

rather than mass texting people who have asked me for updates (cuz you know my brain! i already forget who asked me first! :D)  subscribe to my twitter and set it to update you via text messages. i’m sure you’ll want to cancel it after santacon, but for now, it’s easiest…

WHOOT! er, i mean HO HO HO!!!


** Wear warm layers as festive as you can get, bring a metrocard, booze, water, snacks, comfy shoes.

Reversing Current

Mizz Buttafl’i in her sitting, meditative hooping. Which I am working on, but mine looks much less peaceful than hers does…

Warning: Very stream of consciousness post which meanders.  which shouldn’t shock anyone after the last post ;o)

The sun is peaking through the gray skies, just a little bit.  On my second mug (i.e., third and fourth cup) of coffee.  Either the coffee is getting weaker here or I’m building a resistance again.

Not much different than yesterday, but my mood is definitely brighter.  Mentally adjusting to the changing season, the upcoming solstice.  Pondering once again how summer is a time to share our fire with others, and winter is the time to fuel our own fire and look inwards.

The hoopjams have moved indoors and we are focusing on core work only – hooping on the body, knees to neck.  My inclination is to do little of that.  After hooping the day before thanksgiving, I was sore from the workout.  It’s hard to focus on self, especially in the midst of others.

Today’s post title inspired by the hoopjam, and learning to change currents (directions).  The Hoop Path instructors teach that there is no first/second direction, no right/wrong direction, to encourage hooping in both directions.  When you are used to only hooping counter-clockwise, and more off the body moves, and spinning while hooping (last two are “cheats” since I find it difficult to waist hoop in one spot without dropping it) — to be inside, core moves only, and then be told to change direction?  That’s tricky.  But bringing it inside, doing these restrictions, will only make me (and my hooping) stronger.

And I think that’s why I’m feeling the struggle to change direction.  I need to – it’s that time, in nature, in social scenes, hell – in many more places in my life than I’m capable of changing at the moment.  While I am frustrated with some things and really want to change that direction, I think I should focus on the inward spiral of winter – nurturing not only myself through this time but also our home and spending quality recharge time with each other.

Though more and more, my winters become full of burner events (last year I started driving to philly for conclave in February), and this necessary down time is sacrificed… I will – and this sounds familiar – seek balance and try to focus more on self care.

It may snow this weekend.  But baby we’ve got no place to go (except dinner, in town) so let it snow let it snow let it snow!

So often snow or illness MAKES us stop and rest in the winter.  My holiday wish for everyone is that you find the time to rest and recharge yourself before you catch a cold, and enjoy every beautiful snowfall.*

* Why yes, Mizz Buttafl’i, I AM looking at you when I say this 😀  as well as all my other gorgeous friends and family.


Falling in love is like jumping off a cliff blindfolded.  At least at first it is.  The rush of euphoric moments blind us to everything else.

But I think that at some point, true love involves taking off the blindfold, seeing what’s below, and still leaping.  Or wait. We already lept…. OK maybe to not fight for a handhold to stop our fall?

MIxing metaphors like whoa.

But it’s the same metaphor. I have no idea what the point is here, I had some thoughts last night that sounded profound and all, I thought they were coming back to me but apparently not.

The point (maybe) is this. Lately, everyday, I am taking off the blindfold again.  Everyday, I wonder what the hell I am doing on the edge of this cliff. And shortly after, I think of (or see) his smile, I feel or remember his embrace, his heart, his words…

And I leap again.


Maybe it’s the monthly emotional roller coaster.  Maybe it’s a little seasonal depression.  I feel like I am playing grown up, a mockery of adulthood, pretending I have my shit together but really feeling like I have no clue and my life is spiraling out of control.


Wrote the above yesterday but didn’t post it.  Wasn’t making much sense.  Still feeling the blahs – whatever the culprit is, I don’t know.  I think they are temporary.  I hope so.  Trying to do Christmas shopping while worrying about money/personal finances, about commercialism, what it does to us as humans – really? trampling someone just for a sale? sigh.

Sitting here wrapped in my love’s sweatshirt, talking of moving some of his furniture here, hanging on to what’s important, what counts.

My favorite places in the world are places filled with you.  (Brian Andreas)


This month is gonna fly by.  This weekend, lounging, sewing costumes, hanging with friends.  13th – NYC Santacon.  20th – PEX Santacon.  Christmas.  Out of town family/friends passing through.  I may be neglectful of reaching out to you, wrapped up in trying to stay sane through the craziness, but holler if you want to go to Santacon or just meet up for coffee.

It’s the season of light, whatever your faith… Time to remember the brightness as the world gets a little darker, allowing us time to go inwards and find the inner fire that gives us strength to get through the cold.

Keep on burning……