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Finally Friday

August 14, 2009

Colorsplash camera, dancing at PEX at Playa Del Fuego

Developed more film from my colorsplash and fisheye cameras. Better than the first attempts, but I’m less enthused about them than I should be. They will be going to Burning Man however, I think the day shots will come out well with fisheye (the flash isn’t working on this well either- ugh) and nighttime – well the colorsplash flash works half the time. Oh well.

Fisheye camera, Brimsteam steampunk LARP ("The Century Rose" sign)

Anyway. I am falling more and more in love with the Digital Photography forums. Great ideas, advice, tutorials. Less pressure of needing more and more expensive equipment – though I still lust over new lenses… and eventually a new camera body. >.< But they are a great mix of levels of expertise, I don’t feel bad posting shots that I think would be laughed at by pros, and I can see that my work is better than a good number of people sharing. Ego wise, it’s the perfect mix to really learn.

I shared a few older shots that fit assignments and closed competitions, and I’m seeing that I already know more (and have a better camera compared to my last) than I did a few years ago. Again, this is great to realize that I am improving and can get even better.

Seriously I have to restrain myself from going to the store right now and getting a new toy.

I definitely want to do more with digital than film. The price of two partial rolls and CD’s with digital version, well, that’s 1/3 of a CHEAP lens. I’ll still use them, especially for places I don’t want to risk my good camera and don’t mind “lomo” style shoot from the hip shots, but my heart isn’t there. Especially when both cameras are technically broken and the flash is unreliable.

OK – off for a weekend of relaxation (maybe some photos?) tonight, major cleaning/decluttering tomorrow, to be rewarded with an adventure Sunday to one of my sacred spots that my love has yet to see! Oooooh I haven’t been there since getting the dSLR, maybe I SHOULD splurge on a new lens first… 😛

Have a wonderful weekend!!

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A little bit of luck

Filed under: my love, photos — Leave a comment

August 12, 2009

This summer, at one point my love and I both found four leaf clovers within a week of each other.

Am I lucky to have him in my life or what?? 😀

(finally got around to some exploring of free photoshop action set downloads, and this is one of the pics I played with.)

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Are you ready to burn???

Filed under: AT conclave, Burning Man — Leave a comment

August 5, 2009

So – a squee post over all things Burning Man. Maybe it’s even going to be my version of what new attendees should know. We’ll see how long I can spend on it today 😛

First, theme camp placements are out. There’s a list, there’s a list by address, another by address but color coded, there’s an interactive map, oh and if you didn’t have it, a map of the city.

My modified map, with some important (to us!) locations

Random and I are camping with Homebrew for a Homebrew, which is a registered theme camp for the first time this year! That also means we moved. We are going to be along Evolution (the OUTER ring around Center Camp) close to the 6:00 spoke. (Note that if you are walking along DNA, this should also take you right in front of our camp. Though the addresses are approximate, once you get near the intersection you should be able to find it.)

We’ll be spending a lot of time at PEX – Esplanade and 8 – as well as other favorites… Camp Jersey is in the 4:30 keyhole plaza (in the plaza if the Man is at 12, they are at 7). Whiskey and Whores were placed at the 7:30 keyhole, and we’ve been asked to help out with a bartender shift as they will have much more traffic! 😀 Some of the people from our conclave group are with the OMCC, at Center Camp and 3. And well, there’s hundreds of other theme camps too!

A larger number than expected were rejected from official placement (due to a smaller city than last year and more applications), and there will be a separate what-where-when guide that many of these camps are compiling together. Don’t worry there will be plenty of fun stuff to see and do!

Though I hate having a schedule, we’ll have more of one this year than ever before. A friend of ours will be having a wedding out there! Wednesday night we will perform with our conclave group at PEX. Since the Shiva Vista stage is burning Thursday night, I expect we’ll try to spin there during open spin times on Wednesday night. We’ll need to figure out when we are bartending at Whiskey and Whores, and Saturday night of course is our main conclave performance before the Man burns!

____________________________________

Since I talk about it a lot – if you don’t know what Burning Man is, go to www.burningman.com. My blog about last year is here. I did a blog for my town blog in two parts – here and here. Those are the best places to get started – though there are lots of places you can find anyone’s thoughts on the event or search for photos. (Oh my photos are here – but taken with disposable cameras, I leave the good shots to those who take better ones out there!)

If you think you could never camp in the desert, I just want to say that’s what I thought and this will be my 4th burn. You’d be surprised. Weather can be harsh, it’s hot in the day and cold at night, but it’s really not that bad. Sit around in the shade if it’s too hot. Do whatever you have to do during dust storms. (Hunker down or go for a walk! Just be CAREFUL because some people still insist on driving/biking in white out conditions.) Try not to expect any one thing, and be open to everything (at least everything within your boundaries – though it’s fun to push them a bit :D)

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What’s that? You got a ticket? Great!! If it’s your first time, here’s some help.

GO READ THE SURVIVAL GUIDE. Even if you have been before! The first timers guide will also have good advice. Send an email to bman-announce-subscribe@burningman.com to subscribe to the Jack Rabbit Speaks – there’s been a bunch of resource emails sent already this summer, if you need back copies try looking here https://lists.burningman.com/mailman/listinfo/bman-announce

You are going to have a million questions, but those places have most of the answers. Where to camp, what to bring, what not to bring…

Our previous NJ regional rep did a series of youtube vids to share his advice, and it’s pretty good! Part One, Part Two, Part Three. A great example of what you always should have with you is here on Flickr, with lots of notes. (And bring all THAT as well as food/water in YOUR car! I’ve caravaned out with other drivers, and we were stuck in a dust storm before entering the event and ran out of water and food as it was in another car. We ran into them eventually, but be prepared!)

So – things not to bring or that don’t work. Cell phones don’t work. Satellite phones do but are expensive. Walkie talkies can work but hundreds of people use the same channel, probably not worth it. No (or limited) wifi access. Prepare to be totally offline. In the event of emergencies, there’s always ways to get in touch with back home. Don’t bring pets, guns, fireworks, anything illegal pretty much. Don’t bring anything that would completely gut you if it was lost or destroyed. Do not bring feather boas – they leave feathers everywhere and it’s a “Leave No Trace” event!

Bring: (in addition to regular camping gear – which needs special attention for dust and high winds, read up on that on the site/survival guide)

– goggles (sunglasses may work for most of the time but you will want a good pair of goggles!!)

– dust masks and bandanas. Bandanas again will be enough most of the time.

– headlamp. Do not shine headlamp in the eyes of people you are talking to. For walking around, I’ll hang it around my neck – lights the ground, not who I look at.

– extra one-ply toilet paper.

– a bike if you can. This year the city is back to 2007 size, and more manageable on foot. You can get by either way, but a bike is nice.

– camelback bag, or a back pack with room for water bottles. (And start drinking water NOW! lots of it!)

– emergen-C because plain water gets boring.

– a sarong. My favorite thing to have with me – it’s a skirt, a dress, a blanket, protection from the sun or dust storm, extra warmth if you are cold. I also love armwarmers for adding warmth without a lot of bulk in the bag at night.

– fun blinkies/glowies. Eh, even if you hate ravers and despise the environmental impact (we’re trying to do more battery operated things now), cars and bikes can hit you in the dark if you don’t have something. El-wire is awesome and you can put it on just about anything.

– chapstick

– sunblock

– hand sanitizer

– first aid kit and any medicines you take

– baby wipes

– moisturizer

– a hat or parasol to keep the sun off.

– vinegar. if you go in sandals or barefoot, once a day, wash your feet with a mixture of vinegar and water (1 part vinegar to 3-4 parts water? I think…) Slather on moisturizer and clean socks. Trust me.

– Extra clean socks. 2 pair per day plus a few to spare.

– cash for ice/coffee. That’s all that’s for sale out there!

– something fun/funny/entertaining that no one would expect you to have in the desert

– card game or something for when you are waiting out a dust storm

– extras of anything to share

– fun costumes/accessories. If you are stressing because you don’t have costumes, just wear whatever you WISH you could wear in your daily life. The sky is the limit, just put on lots of sunblock and a towel to sit on if you go au natural 😀

– gallon ziplock bags. They keep things clean. I get too many of them and have trouble finding stuff, I may scale down. But I also get the bigger ones, they have all sizes, for socks, underwear, and costuming that is hard to wash and I want to keep cleaner. Also, if you are flying home right from the event, put a set of clean clothes and important items all together in a bag and don’t open until you are off the playa!

This is only part of what you should pack – but it’s a lot of the essentials. Google “Burning Man Packing List” and you’ll get lots of links to more exhaustive lists. And don’t forget your ticket!!!

For more help, I’d be happy to answer questions, or hop on to E-Playa (the official forum) or Tribe (has many groups devoted to Burning Man, and one for virgins each year) and lots of people will help you out.

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On Creativity and Compassion

Filed under: art, flow, life, quotes — Leave a comment

August 3, 2009

Inspiration of the day – my friend blogged about artist Merce Cunningham who passed away, and it highlights several artists who helped re-define what art is. My favorite part is the last sentence, but had to quote the entire section –

It was their relationship of the creative life to all life that has drawn me into their work. They would focus on bringing the creative process into what are often times considered “non art” activities….they would have festivities in a moment’s notice, carry with them a feeling of always creating something, of everyday adventures. They believed in living out loud in front of others so the world would wake up and see that the smallest things in life can be a celebration.

That is how I choose to honor Merce, to continue to live my own life with that kind of imagination and authenticity, and to encourage others to do the same. We are ALL artists, constantly creating. No matter what our medium..even if we don’t have a definable medium…it’s the way in which we author our lives that is so important. Art is not to dazzle others as M.C. Richards, a contemporary and friend of Merce, once said. “It is to reveal the secrets of our hearts so that others seeing that witness, will have the courage to reveal the secrets of their own hearts.”

This is the path I’ve been on as well – while I’ve always loved doing creative things, this way of looking at art, how we live, and how we express who we are really started at Burning Man for me. I was always drawn to it, but never found it in such abundance until then. And I’m still struggling to do this, as lately it seems not much that I do is very creative. Lately I’ve been absorbing inspiration, but it’s just kinda sitting there building up. But to figure out exactly how to put this inspiration and energy to best use is challenging, and I feel like there’s never enough time in the day.

However her post reinforced in me that it’s a 24-7 thing, even if I’m not creating a tangible piece of art. I just need to remember that. And when we are tapped into that realization, and live with intention, I think that’s being in the flow.

ETA: Excellent timing, universe… a friend just linked to this on facebook. Great video, but stay for the end credits and story!!

The past week has also had an emotional journey. A man went missing, and I followed the story on facebook as I know someone who is a close friend of his. As I reposted messages from friends and family, asking for prayers or help with the search party in California, I learned a little about him and his life. But the message that touched me was one that was related to his mother through a psychic.

If you do not generally believe in such things, I dare you to just suspend those thoughts and listen to the message. Just for a moment think about what it would mean to embrace it and make it part of our lives.

Elias says repeatedly that what happened was like an unfortunate accident. It shouldn’t have happened. The person involved needs compassion.

Elias is adamant that he wants everyone to react with love and compassion. He wants a circle of people, whoever is capable, to hold space at the same time every day for compassion meditation and to let him know what time that will be so that he can join us.

He does not want so much energy put on what happened. Put energy into love and compassion. People are digging, he says, seeking with too much frustration to find out what happened. Surrender and allow it to be revealed. Taking action is good, but don’t focus too much on seeking.

He says that this whole event is a lesson. He wants us to learn the lesson! If we focus on the wrong things we may not learn the lesson.

He is grateful that I am open to allowing this lesson to be learned. He wants us to show love for all – not just him. And to have no vindictiveness. He wants there to be complete forgiveness.

Elias wants us to proceed with compassion every step of the way.

Emotions need to be released, to be honored and allow them to flow through like a stream, but don’t let them constrict you. So the key is to honor your emotions without holding them inside.

He wants to raise the vibration. Use less intellect. Keep returning to the love or we will miss the lesson. The lesson is about love.

(excerpts – for full text see here)

At a time where you can imagine his friends and family are frantically searching for him, hoping he is still alive, full of fear… His main message is of love and compassion, not for him but for those who did this to him.

I know most of us hold grudges for far less serious offenses.

I don’t know if I can have love for those who did this, but looking at the faces of three men arrested in association with this case, I tried to hold compassion. I wondered what happened in their life that led them to where they are today. Was it an accident? Or, had they been hurt so badly that they only know how to hurt others? Were they even the ones who did it?

Lyrics from a song by Kristin Hoffmann called “No Love” run through my head – she ponders what hell someone went through to get to the point where they abuse (or do worse) to someone else. “there`s no right or wrong to decide just the cause and effect of life”.

The mystery of Elias’ disappearance is still unsolved. Police are treating it as a homicide although his body has not been found. While I hope anyone found guilty in the investigation is charged and serves an appropriate sentence, the message of being open to all possibilities has stuck with me.

Elias (through the transmission) asked his mother to choose a Sufi poem, and she shared the following.

A poem of Hafiz

When
The violin
Can forgive the past

It starts singing.

When the violin can stop worrying
About the future

You will become
Such a drunk laughing nuisance

That God
Will then lean down
And start combing you into
His Hair.

When the violin can forgive
Every wound caused by
Others

The heart starts
Singing.

So yeah. The dance continues. Love and compassion. Creativity and authenticity. Intention and celebration. Heavy thoughts for a Monday, but then Mondays when you are stuck somewhere that is the opposite of many of those things need this sometimes.

I may have posted this quote before, but want to post it again… and upon doing so I realize that “art” (the kind of art discussed up top) could replace the word “faith”. I’m trying to embrace this fully – as well as exploit it as a reference that nowhere does “clean house” or “laundry” appear on the list… 😛

This is my living faith, an active faith, a faith of verbs:
to question, explore, experiment, experience, walk, run, dance, play, eat, love, learn, dare, taste, touch, smell, listen, argue, speak, write, read, draw, provoke, emote, scream, sin, repent, cry, kneel, pray, bow, rise, stand, look, laugh, cajole, create, confront, confound, walk back, walk forward, circle, hide, and seek.
To seek: to embrace the questions, be wary of answers.
~Terry Tempest Williams

And so I leave you with this tribute to the lives of those who affect us, and may we remember that how we live each day is the message we’ll leave behind us as well.

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Quiet, yet not.

Filed under: brimsteam, costumes, fun events, life — 2 Comments

July 23, 2009

I’ve been quiet for a while! Wasn’t really on purpose. I got a head cold, and I’ve been very spacey/introspective for the past few weeks. I needed to slow down, to remember to prioritize and say no… I feel overwhelmed in the summer with the crazy schedules, but yet most everything (except work) is something that I want to do, something that makes my heart sing and refuels me. But I need to have enough down time to recharge or I’m running on empty. No idea where all these gas metaphors are coming from 😛

Not long after I posted about flow, my love posted as well, and you should read it. 😀

Two weekends ago, we went to Dexcon – same people who run Dreamation, the game convention in February. We are truly lucky to have this in our backyard, and took full advantage of the weekend this time.

Friday night, at the last minute, we dressed up steampunk and stopped by a LARP that was created by someone I know – called Brimsteam.

The Dexcon gathering of Brimsteam

While we weren’t there for long, we had an amazing time playing Maddy and Clarke, on a scientific expedition from the University to study plant and insect life in undiscovered lands. Clarke learned to gamble, successfully, and we had a small expedition in a hot air balloon for some sport hunting of astral jellyfish. Yeah, I know. But it was FUN!

Steampunk Self Portrait

We then went to the vampire LARP that we played in February. You know, vampires really aren’t very sociable, especially when you are enemy clans… but we enjoy dressing up and pretending to get along with all the others, and well, the costumes are half the fun 😀

The next day, we went back for board games. Gloom, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and something else… Then we were dragged into $300 Pyramid, where I did better than I ever expected to and won $6 in credit at the vendors room! Played a game of Poison, then went home to change and returned for the continuation of the vampire LARP. (Photo above is from the second night.) Despite staying up late both nights, we returned Sunday – Nate for a game of Magic, and me for something that was overbooked and had no room. But we were roped into a game of Puerto Rico, and then headed out to get to Philly for practice with our fire performance group for Burning Man.

Insert boring long work week, with being sick and lots of unpleasantries.

I was worried my health would prevent it, but I recovered in time for the weekend and on Saturday we caught up with the next playtest of Brimsteam. This time, there was actual Danger! and Excitement! as I got caught in my first gunfight (and hid. yup. I did. Not ashamed to admit it. I AM playing a sheltered intellectual 😛 Not to mention wearing heels in a dark area with steps, I thought I’d kill myself before a bullet could.)

Kaylee and Maddy

12 hours of character creation, game play, fights, downtime with refreshments and gambling, and lots of mystery and mayhem. I can’t wait to do it again. (While I don’t mind the vampire LARP, this is such a different experience and more suited for me personally!)

Kaylee turned out to have a similar education to myself - here we are investigating a bio-luminescent fungus attached to moss that was a key clue to a murder and sabotage plot!

And Clarke gambled. And gambled. And drank and fought and was shot and unconscious for a bit. And gambled.

Unfortunately we are missing the first full weekend of play, as we’ll be out in Reno for Burning Man. But we hope to make it to the one in September, and I only hope it’s not during my cousin’s wedding! 😀

So that’s two busy weekends, with lots of work and rest in between. My added stress is having to significantly purge and reorganize my apartment before some electrical work needs to be done – luckily the date is postponed, but I’m not sure to when, and I have to keep up with it while the crushing pressure is off.

This weekend we’ll be traipsing around south Jersey, seeing some of my love’s friends and family, another conclave rehearsal, and at some point seeing my brother for his birthday. Hope you all are enjoying your summer!

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Photography and Flow

Filed under: flow, photos — 2 Comments

July 8, 2009

Sculpture - Frederick Franck, Quote - Hui-neng

There has been an ongoing battle in my head/soul about photography. Without a doubt, I’ve experienced times where taking snapshots or trying to get the right settings for a shot completely seperate me from truly experiencing what was in front of me. The camera CAN be a barrier, putting you outside the action instead of being part of it. It can interrupt the act of being in the present – because you are usually focused on the future, the photo you hope to have a result or souvenir of your trip.

There are times I’ve seen some photographers as hungry energy sucking vortexes, anxious for a scene with topless women to provide someone with material to jerk off to. They don’t see the people in front of them as people, but a meal ticket or a titillating image.

I’ve also witnessed photographers who create amazing art, manipulating light and shadow to evoke visceral memories and touching thousands of people.

As well, I’ve noticed how once you spend more time behind a camera, your eye sees things in the everyday that otherwise pass unnoticed. The brickwork, murals, and chipping paint as I drive through Philly on I-95 make me want to stop the car often, though it would be a hazard to do so.

Philly from the passenger seat

I’ve blogged about this once already, and while I’m not much closer to a definitive answer, I am feeling instincts/intuition and synchronicty pushing me in the direction I’m supposed to go.

This past weekend was absolutely one of the best I’ve ever experienced. The visual beauty and creativity was only outdone by the auditory talents of the DJs and performers. I brought two cameras. I didn’t touch either a single time I was there. In the moment – I didn’t regret it one bit. A workshop on presence helped set the tone for the rest of the weekend, and I was there to experience and immerse myself fully, without analysis or thought.

Now I’m home, and I miss that there are not many snapshots of myself and my friends, that I didn’t push my creative boundaries with the numerous opportunities of unique subjects.

And I’m really questioning myself on whether photography HAS to distance you from the experience, or is there another way?

I spent some time googling things like “mindful photography” “meditation photography” “zen photography” and found many resources out there. While I’m reading, it hits me like a ton of bricks.

The concept of presence and flow were the overwhelming themes to this past weekend. My love got a taste of the addictive flow of skill toys that goes beyond the initial thrill of learning a new skill or even adding fire to it. One night, I witnessed him dance like I’ve never seen before – we both don’t know where it came from but it was amazing to experience. I hooped with closed eyes to the Gamelatron, and I felt the flow when I borrowed a friend’s glow poi (as mine were too far away) and couldn’t stop dancing/spinning.

The flow we’ve experienced comes some time after learning the basics of the “how to”. At some point, our monkey brain manages to turn off and we stop thinking “Oh I’ll do this move next”. It’s about being purely in the moment and not a millisecond in the future on where we go next.

The reason I’m struggling with photography is that I’m still learning the skills. I’m still hitting myself in the head with the poi, I’m still dropping the hoop. Flow is possible, and it will happen, but it most certainly cannot be forced.

Flow is the mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.

It has nothing to do with the subject, or whether other photographers are shooting the same scene. It’s an internal process – which is great, as that’s the only thing you can choose to control!

by John Suler (Click to view on flickr and read a great essay)

by John Suler (Click for a great photo/essay series on flickr)

From now on, I am giving myself permission to decide to not take photos because of the sheer number of other photographers. But I’m also not going to let that stop me if it’s something I really want to shoot. I will still take snapshots – of course, they are fun and great memories of times with friends. (To me, snapshots are separate but related – lighthearted and more about capturing memories than creating art. Doesn’t make them any less meaningful, they just serve a different purpose.) But I am also going to work on taking more shots with the goal of improving my skills so I can get to that flow zone more often, and try taking time to make photography a meditation.

It makes so much sense. This may not be a dramatic change in where I am now with photography, but it definitely helps define where I am going, and reminds me to listen to my intuition.

The goal is not necessarily to produce art that moves others, but primarily to move myself during the process. Is this a complicated way to state I’m finding my “voice”? It could be – but this simplifies things for me.

The flow is possible in anything we do, really – especially you combine the traditional definition (Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi first coined the term) with the spiritual concepts of presence, zen, whatever buzzword you want to give it. I know you’ve felt it at some point. To cultivate it, we can’t go chasing it around but we have to turn inwards and quiet ourselves. To surrender to the magic within and around us.

Mind is the camera
memory the film
Previsualise, store memory.
In order to see you must first learn how
to look.

Ttebroc Yrrag (1954)

Related Articles:

On Photography as Mindful Seeing

Introduction To Photographic Psychology

Snapshot Photography vs. Mindful Photography

The Zen of Photography

Zen and the Art of Photography

Writing and flow

In the Zone

Related Blogs:

Meditation Photography

Zen and Photography – Blog

Tao of Photography: Seeing Beyond Seeing by Philippe L. Gross, S.I. Shapiro

Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

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:D

Filed under: fire, fun events, PEX — 1 Comment

July 7, 2009

My Morning Coffee - by ManisMachine

I am back in the “default” world after an amazing weekend at the first (and hopefully annual) PEX Summer Festival.

I’m almost at a loss of words. I’m also at a loss of photos. I brought two cameras, and never touched either. I’m relying on photos others took and enjoying the candids I find of myself!

(Sometimes I find looking through the camera keeps you from experiencing something. There is also creativity in photography, and it’s rewarding in it’s own way… but I sometimes feel struggle to balance being in the moment and taking photos (whether snapshots or artistic) Anyway this is a whole post on it’s own so we’ll talk about that another time.)

Workshop that Random and I attended, taught by LinaLuv - By ManisMachine

What was it like? It was like the best summer camp ever. The location, Ramblewood, used to be a kids’ summer camp. Now it caters more to adult and alternative groups like ours.

It was a weekend of music (oh the music), friends, fire, workshops, swimming, playing, learning, smiling… I think I realized every time I saw anyone in the main PEXie crew (who each put in hours and hours of work to make this happen) – they had a huge grin on their face. I think I did too.

Lounging with Reno, Random, and my bottle of wine - by Brian McBriarty

The weekend was just full of joy, laughter, dancing, playing with fire, meditating, and just hanging out with some really amazing people. The only thing missing was some people who I knew wanted to be there and couldn’t, for whatever reason.

Giant Bear's Effigy - by ManisMachine

The night the effigy of Giant Bear burned (via torches stuck up his butt :P) I just felt the possibilities of where this first festival is taking us, and I knew that we were watching a piece of history. No, this wasn’t quite the same as a burn (as in an official Burning Man recognized event.) But it was almost like the best PARTS of a burn, magnified, with the worst parts missing altogether or passing unnoticed. And on July 4th, it was the perfect way to express and celebrate our freedoms.

Some favorite memories:

– The Gamelatron. An amazing installation of a robotic gamelan orchestra – all we knew at the time was that it was such a peaceful serene moment that sent us into a wonderful meditation. We returned again planning to meditate more, and there was spoken words at times during the piece.

Modeled after traditional Balinese and Javanese gamelan orchestras, the GamelaTron is an amalgamation of traditional instruments with a suite of percussive sound makers. MIDI sequences control 117 robotic striking mechanisms that produce intricately woven and rhythmic sound. Performances follow an arc similar to classic Indonesian gatherings, where stories from great epics, such as the Ramayana, are told and settings given in words that are continued in music.

– Music – need I say more? Of course, with several stages and world famous (or just philly famous) DJ’s, the music was amazing. A DJ was set up right by the pool so you could swim and still feel the beat, and the pavilion went all night long with fire performances and comfy couch/beds to fit all of your late night needs for entertainment and comfort.

– Workshops – made it to a few, including one about Cultivating the Gift of Fire, by LinaLuv. This was based on the chinese elemental creation cycle, and dealt with being in the present moment in our relationships/interactions with others. We also went to a fireplay workshop, which covered contact fire and fire eating. Random took a contact staff class with Lucky and has a new obsession, and I made it to a pleasure palace workshop which was an exercise in asking and receiving pleasure from others (while respecting your own and others boundaries) – it was a very relaxing experience to have 6 people massage you at once!!

– Our mini camp. We had a small group but a comfy shade structure and spent lots of time chatting with old and new friends as we overlooked the field and watched activities around us.

——

ETA memories as they surface again:

– Performers before the bear burned came out and the crowd was way too silent as they watched. Chad’s yell of “we’re gonna burn some shit!!!!” and prodding the audience to hoot and holler was a wonderful sight!

——

I happened to be on the PEX facebook group and while the first part has been on PEX webpages before, if you haven’t seen it, it’s a good summary of what they are all about. And below it is a wonderful poem I never saw before.

The Philadelphia Experiment is a Community of diverse beings that are connected through a common desire for creativity. The Experiment is the catalyst that unites us. We are dreamers, dancers, musicians, engineers, designers, artists, yogis, teachers, students, philosophers & just plain ol ordinary folk. Through our network we open doors of collective opportunity and experience. We invite you to join the PEX family. Chat, discuss, connect, create and get down here.

In Philadelphia
there is an experiment;
an examination of a life…
a community
beyond the false borders
of the homophobic, claustrophobic
caustically toxic
closed minded social order
that feeds us disunity.
The experiment
is an examination of rhythmic sound,
an observation of human creativity,
an exercise in social autonomy,
the rehearsal of a collective economy,
a measurement of participatory allegories,
and that of dreams becoming realities.
There is freedom
and liberation…
an emancipation from the socially toxic “me first” nation.
And there is dancing…
like no one’s watching
dreaming with your feet
getting into that higher trance type of dance.
Formed in the Black Rock City valley
this Philadelphia experiment
is a reflection
of radical self-expression,
a manifestation
of urban in-ergy
human synergy
mind-blowing
free-love showing
consciousness raising
acceptance of the beauty in asymmetry.
It is a mindset.
A realized concept…
the silhouette of a calumet
shared in peace.

In Philadelphia… there is an experiment… and it is we.

The Philadelphia Experiment -A Poem Inspired by the Decompression
The Philadelphia Experiment
by Oskar Castro aka Bohiti
(a work in progress)

It’s so hard to explain to people who haven’t been. There’s a sense of heart and community at the base of all that they do, and you know everyone who makes this happen does so with ALL their heart, and just for you.

A huge thank you to anyone who helped make the event happen (and it took so many!) as well as to each person who showed up – because they are just as necessary to make the experiment work. With a happy heart and a smile still on my face, I look forward to celebrating independence and freedom with you for many years to come!

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Dress up

Filed under: costumes, deviants, photos — 2 Comments

June 29, 2009

Remember how much fun it was to go through a box of fun clothes when you were little? Guess what – it still is! I challenge you to not laugh just looking at this… but maybe it’s just because we had so much laughter during the photo shoot that it’s still putting a smile on our faces.

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Love is in the air

Filed under: my love, photos — Leave a comment

June 24, 2009

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep
because reality is finally better than your dreams.” (Dr. Seuss)

Congrats Chris and Mandy – I love the way you love.

And congrats to my love for kicking ass as the officiant! 😀

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Self Assessment

Filed under: art, change, life, questions, simplifying — 3 Comments

June 18, 2009

A compilation of my alter egos and costumes over the past 4 years since my first Burning Man (compiled for my unravelling e-course)

For all the navel gazing I do, you’d never know that filling out my self assessment form for my annual review at work sends me into a panic attack.

I used to take it seriously, I thought hard about it and poured my heart and soul (as it relates to work) onto a piece of paper. But it’s grown to mean nothing, it’s just stuck in a file somewhere, and my true thoughts – I don’t dare voice those even here, let alone on that form.

(Though, I took a risk and set one of my goals to be increasing awareness in the office about recycling, as I just dug through the trash can to pull out cans that were thrown away. One was in a can NEXT TO THE RECYCLING CONTAINER! UGH! Our office also stopped recycling waste paper – I’d like to encourage individual efforts in reduce/reuse waste paper, and get a petition to request the office recycles it again. Obviously I’m much more excited about this than anything else at work.)

So I figure, I don’t object to this task, I just can’t say what I want to say and no one is listening anyway. And even though it’s not New Years or any other time when people traditionally re-evaluate their life, I’d like to do a self assessment on everything BUT work.

Review of Previous Period’s Objectives/Goals

Since this is my first time doing this, I don’t have a previous list of goals. But a few ones that I have met over the past year:

– Take a hooping workshop and fire hoop for the first time

– Make a hoop video (I did this last night!)

– Create interactive art for Playa Del Fuego

– Help run an official Theme camp at Playa Del Fuego

– Cohabitate with my love 😀

– Perform fire in a group at Burning Man (wasn’t for conclave, but our dress rehearsal was a performance.)

Major Responsibilities/Accomplishments

Well, my accomplishments are listed above. Responsibilities? Hmm. What are my responsibilities outside of work?

– Take care of my kitties (check. though they need brushing and I can’t find the brush, they are happy and healthy!)

– Pay bills and stay on top of finances (eh still struggling but I’m mostly responsible here)

Seriously? Those are the only “MUST DO” responsibilities that I can think of, but if I get into “SHOULD DO” I can think of more. This is brainstorming, not necessarily all of these were accomplished, but they are all things I’m working on.

– Responsibilities to self: Eat in ways that sustain me and improve my health. Get some movement in, every day hopefully. Get enough sleep. Spend time doing things that nurture and sustain me, and improve/educate myself. Be aware of needs, desires, and boundaries. Learn to say no to things that will only cause stress, and yes to things that scare me but are good for me. Keep home a cleaner, nicer place to relax and rejuvenate. Make sure financial basic needs are met (pay bills on time, keep roof over head, improve credit rating).

– Responsibilities to family/friends: Love and care for kitties. Love Random, spend quality time together, work on mutual dreams and goals. Call and visit family. Often. Spend quality time with friends/family of choice, be there when they need support.

– Responsibilities to community/world: Participate in life, don’t just spectate. Contribute discussions, time, art, and effort to events that matter to me and to issues of importance in the world. Improve my “green” efforts. Bring joy and awareness to those around me. Help create things/movements as a group for larger reaching efforts.

Strengths

I have great ideas. I can help others make their ideas happen. I have a harder time making my own ideas happen 😛

Love learning and experiencing new things. A sense of adventure.

Curious mind, always wanting to know how things work and how to do new things.

A sense of responsibility to community and the planet.

Willingness to look like a fool in public for the sake of fun.

Never underestimating the power of fun, camaraderie, good food, or good sleep.

Development Needed

Knowing and trusting my strengths.

Making decisions.

Balancing what goals I can set and accomplish on my own to improve my life, and what ones I should set and work on together with my love.

Incorporating my passions into my job/career.

Pursuing bigger picture adventures without getting bogged down with the daily grind.

Simplifying.

Balancing responsibilities and fun time.

Incorporating good ideas and lifestyle changes permanently.

Being gentle with myself for doing things poorly or not at all.

Watching where I spend/waste time.

Next Period’s Objectives/Goals and Target Dates

In the next month/s I shall:

– Make progress on cleaning/simplifying our home. (Make a game plan with my love, figure out what we can do together to do this.) Two weeks to a garage sale, so the incentive is there.

– Bring/create some joy into my work life, even if it’s tiny ways. Be more present and productive at work.

– Set some short and long term individual and mutual goals with my love, and figure out ways to keep part of our efforts focused on them.

– Enjoy every moment of summer while it’s here. It goes so fast. Be present in the moment.

– Continue to increase healthy habits and decrease unhealthy ones.

– Increase calls/visits to family. Decrease guilt about it never being enough 😛

In the next year I shall:

– Find a way to enjoy my job or find a new one.

– Relocate (if/when it suits both of us & our jobs).

– Have a routine to keep our home simplified, cleaner, and more green. Reduce the amount of things I own and use/enjoy the things I do own.

– Leave time/space for unplanned adventures and spontaneity.

– Explore my creativity in old and new ways.

– Contribute time and energy to the groups that matter to me – PDF, PEX, fire community, etc.

– Whether through the above or not, work on creations/artistic acts that make a public impact in some way.

– Never stop growing or improving, but always allowing me to be gentle to myself when needed.

– Focus on what matters most. Release things/people that don’t matter, that are more harmful than beneficial, whose time is just past.

Comments/Questions/Ideas

Ack. OK. This was quite the onion peel. I had been thinking I couldn’t afford an acquaintance’s new ecourse, but after seeing this I think I should sign up (I only have today left to decide 😛 I also worry about the workload, as I finish an e-course that I fell behind on, and summer is a crazy time…)

I’m going to turn this around to you. Questions or ideas for me? Did this raise any thoughts of what you can do in your own life?

I have a million ideas but can never decide on ways to implement them. I find tons of amazing resources online like the happiness project (I even have a starter kit to start a group), creative every day challenge, joy rebellion, 29 day giving challenge…. Too many to choose from and commit to them all.

Do you want me to share more things like this with you? Would you be interested in a virtual or in person effort to pursue one of these things? If you are anything like me, you may say YES! and even pick one, but without serious commitement to it, our efforts will fall apart. And being spread too thin over many efforts does the same.

I’ll continue to share these things in case they strike a chord with you, but if you think that you and I should start a new community effort and you are willing to help, let’s talk. Maybe it will be a slow start, being summer and all. Maybe we can create something amazing. Maybe we’ll just have some amazing brainstorming and go on with our lives better for it.

I’m not feeling like LEADING this at this moment, but I look for those who want to CO-CREATE with me. To conspire with me. Or hell, just to console and have a cocktail on the rough days. I don’t know. If you are already in my life chances are you already do one of those things at least. I’m just planting a seed, and seeing what comes from it. I’m focusing on that which I want to nurture in my life, and I need some people around to support and remind me of that so I don’t get too far off track.

So – now that I wrote this huge ass post on my own time and just finished posting it during a brief break at work (*wink wink*) I should get back to my real task at hand. Which is of course, procrastinate and plan for the weekend trip!

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